Because what you do when you get done with trauma is get tattoos

[channonyarrow]

I'm getting a tattoo next Monday. I'm very excited, and completely freaked out about. This is not because this is somehow new (see also: I have five tattoos right now) but this is the first one that will not be easily covered up by clothing. And also, it's one of a pair.

So on my left wrist, as of next Monday, in a band around my wrist, it's gonna say "Live each day as if it's your last". On my right wrist at some point it'll say either "I am not afraid to keep on living" or "The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead". This is not because I am either that emo or that suicidal but because what I really wanted was "Heaven help us" but I decided I didn't want to spend the rest of my life explaining that I'm not religious, and fuck me if I can pull a line out of "Heaven Help Us" that'll go around my tiny wrist (seriously, I have big hands and feet and delicate little wrists and ankles (wrists moreso than ankles, in fact)) and that doesn't require three more lines just to make it make sense.

Like this:
I'm at this old hotel
But I can't tell if I've been
Breathing or sleeping or screaming
or waiting for the man to call
And maybe all of the above
Cause mostly I've been sprawled
On these cathedral steps
While spitting out the blood and screaming

Make sense of that.

So. Famous Last Words = not my favourite song, but "I am not afraid to keep on living" is really something worth saying. "The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead" also works for me.

I've decided I like Optima as a font, and I also really like the artist, who reminds me of my brother in a lot of ways. And I really, really like the symbols I'm using. The left hand is the subconscious, the right hand is the conscious, and the left hand is instinct, while the right is logic. I didn't know that until I googled hand symoblism right now, but I felt it important to consider the left hand the heart hand and the right hand the head hand, and maybe I just picked those up somewhere else. There's also lots of symbolism in rings and circles that I like, and since most peoples' first question has been "Why don't you just get it on the inside of your wrist where you can see all of it," that's the answer. Because I don't need to see it. I just need to remember it.

Because you know, the things I need to remember right now are not to panic and that whatever else happens, I really have an obsimpson. And those are places I've been. Getting tattoos of things that change doesn't bother me - whether I would be in the same relationship with the really ex if I met him now or I'd be shoving him off a cliff doesn't change that I have two tattoos of his art, and they're mine, made by him, and that's fine. That's where I was, and I don't regret being there, nor do I want to forget being there. So even if MCR releases an album of polka standards, even if I have another six-week-long panic attack, I will have my wrists to remind me:

Live each day as if it's your last.
I am not afraid to keep on living.

Comments

\o/

[sparkfrost.livejournal.com]

Awesome! Tattoos are the shit, and yours sound so cool! I'm eventually getting lyrics done, below the nape of my neck in a semi-circle. "Into the sea of waking dreams I follow without pride", cause I'm kind of a suckerlove like, all the time. But aw, yours sound so cool, you'll have to post pics!

Re: \o/

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

I knew I wanted to get words, and I knew I wanted to get a lyric, and I'm not totally thrilled with Famous Last Words, but dude, it's exactly what I said - my favourite songs of theirs DON'T distill into easy tattoos. Sharpest Lives might be what I go with when I get it done, but we'll see. Hell, by then we might have new lyrics.

I will totally take pictures, though, and if I do it quick enough I'll even get them onto the computer! Which will be a \o/ for my track record.

Yours sounds so deep, though - dude, that sounds really fucking cool.

[calli-thaala.livejournal.com]

I'm too scared of pain to get a tattoo but if I ever did, it'd be "If you've lost your faith in love or music the end won't be long". I know every Libs fan that gets tattoos seems to have it, but there's a reason that line speaks to us all. *L*

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

That's an awesome line, though, even if it's the cliche. It's a nice sentiment. And I have the feeling that my line is cliche, but really - there's a very surprising dearth of really good single lines that work in MCR's lyrics, let alone ones I like.

[dreadnot.livejournal.com]

I hope you enjoy your new ink greatly.

My two bracelet tattoos are done in white ink, so they're very subtle. One of mine says "This too shall pass."

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

I thought about white ink, but I've never seen it on someone's actual skin, so I don't know how it shows up, and I want this to be pretty visible - once I get done with the freakout, I'll be cool. I mean, this is sort of my "I'm not going back to retail on someone else's terms" statement, in part, as well as everything I said in the post.

Cause, you know. When I own my own bookstore, that'll be retail on my terms. *g*