channonyarrow | (no subject)

I had the most incredibly happy dream last night (even happier than the one where I was president and Rahm shot an assassin for me, and even though the assassin was standing next to me at the time all I felt was this lovely sense of security and safety). I dreamed the infomercial for steampunk lounge music.

It was MARVELLOUS! As a result of the introduction of steampunk lounge music, EVERYONE FLED STEAMPUNK like the ship was going down with extreme prejudice and I never, ever, ever had to see someone call a 70s calico tiered skirt an "Edwardian steampunk bondage skirt" ever again! I never had to see someone say "I'm not sure what sort of clothing this is...wait, it's brown, so I guess it's steampunk!" I never had to see neon coloured steampunk! I never had to see another fucking steampunk mermaid! (Don't ask - really.)

Also, there were enormous bubbles in the video, and the woman "singing" the lounge music may possibly have been inspired by the singer from Bat For Lashes. Oh Beckett, I wish I could quit you and your ridiculous taste in everything from music to rule-breaking (and not forgetting hats).

And then steampunk was no longer a fucking fad and returned to those of us who understand the proper place of a corset. Who know how to keep our breasts INSIDE a corset. Who understand that bright colours are fine - in an accenting role. Who know that brown is not the only colour of steampunk. Who know that goggles and gears do not steampunk make. Who realise that never, ever, ever is skin a shirt, and that you can't "repurpose" any old thing you happen to find in the costume stash or in the thrift store and call it steampunk.

And I looked upon this state of affairs, and it was good.

I would totally buy a cd of steampunk lounge music JUST TO MAKE THE FAD DIE. Someone needs to get on that.

Also, someone (and by "someone" I mean "

graeae") referred to me as the Apocasslypse the other day. NOTHING MAKES ME HAPPIER THAN THIS FACT.

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I dreamed the infomercial for steampunk lounge music.

I didn't even read the rest of the post before yelling "OH WOW".

It even had the cheesy voiceover - I don't know if you've seen an American-style infomercial or if British ones are significantly different - explaining that a number of the instruments used in making this music were clockwork, and had gears, and that the expectation was that the staccato sound of the music mimicked the visual aesthetic of the gear so prevalent in steampunk.

It was AWESOME.

We have voiceovers, but they tend to be chilling or patronising rather than cheesy.

expectation was that the staccato sound of the music mimicked the visual aesthetic of the gear so prevalent in steampunk

Your subconscious has a ferocious music journalism vocabulary. *awed*

Mostly I was just horrified that someone would come up with this, but overwhelmingly the net result was positive. Everyone got out of the pool!

When I remember words in my dreams, they are frequently that detailed. The bad part is that I usually don't remember them. WOE.

Mine never make any sense when I wake up!

I frequently remember what happened - ie, the wall sank into the floor and the giant robot stood revealed and I couldn't write the HTML to fix that, or to give everyone in the room clothes - but that's ... really not the same as making sense. I love my dreams, for serious.

I am wearing a watch on a leather cuff. That's. Well, possibly maybe sorta steampunk?

Also, I am intending to have a pair of brown kneehigh boots made for me. But that's because my calves are too fat to fit into other kneehigh boots

I AM TOTALLY STEAMPUNK I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

*stops trolling your journal and runs away*

Dude, I love your watch and your (other) boots (I am exactly the sort of creepy person who reads your journal, then brings it up in my journal like this.) I have a watch on a leather band too, though it's because i think leather bands are just awesome more than an allergy. And TWO (count them, TWO) pairs of tall boots! Muahahaha! (I suppose unless you get Sesame Street in Australia, my impression of The Count there will make no sense at all. Trust me.)

But yes, I LOVE steampunk; I just hate that it's a fad now. This always, always, always happens to me: I think something like "I'm interested in a more punk look," and lo and behold: in three months' time I'm seeing punk fashion, complete with chains and graffiti-esque graphics in Debenhams. I think "I'll do steampunk for Halloween!" and within six months everyone and their dog are wearing goggles and gears and brown and calling it steampunk. This is my LIFE. So I can't wait for the fad to die so it can return to the Srs Bzns People.

god yes. I sympathise. Dude, my first concert I ever went to? L7. Pop punk is amusing, yes, but most people have NO FRICKING IDEA WHERE IT CAME FROM. *sighs*

I actually have been seriously thinking of getting into steampunk, but I kind of need a pair of long knickerbockers first, to go with the kneehigh boots. And possibly a boned waistcoat.

(I'm totally making you shudder, aren't I? ;P )

No, because what makes me shudder is the people who don't THINK before they costume (which is why I feel slightly weird about my Tudor, because I didn't really RESEARCH before I made). And, as I say, "steampunk mermaid". That's enough to scare anyone!

I know what you mean about pop punk. Obviously, I love it, but there's this whole evolution that lead to it, and it's worth respect too! At TAI last night - this is SCARY - Beckett did Don't Look Back In Anger, and no one knew it. And then I realised that probably most of the people there were, at best, three when that song came out. ~~And then I died of horrification.~~ It's like, you know, music and literature and every creative endeavour doesn't happen in a vacuum.

I approve of your dream. PUT DOWN THE GEARS AND BACK AWAY SLOWLY. NOBODY HAS TO BE FORCED TO EAT A NERF PISTOL AETHERIC CLOCKWORK SPARKLY PONY RAY GUN.

(I would disapprove of the fad less if it would yield more actual steaminess. Alas.)

Welcome to my hell. I have been recently subjected (via picture) to a steampunk mermaid. And you can tell she was steampunk because she had, in and amongst her shell bra and her various tatters that formed a skirt:

1) Goggles.
2) A key necklace.

OBVIOUSLY STEAMPUNK. Which is not to say that there couldn't necessarily be a steampunk mermaid, but I think in that case you have to fall back on China Mieville. My little fashion choice, that I brought home when it was but a wee, tiny, trend, back before anyone was writing op-ed pieces in the NY Times about it, has grown up to be a hooker, walking the streets in a micro-mini (brown) and halter top (made of gears), soliciting passersby as the light winks off her goggles. It's really tragic. I think steampunk lounge music is the least I could offer the world in the way of an intervention.

There are no words. EVEN WITH GOGGLES AND A KEY NECKLACE, A (NEO)VICTORIAN MERMAID WOULD NOT BE CAUGHT DEAD WEARING A TATTERED SKIRT AND SHELL BRA.

...so there are words. And they are made of shouty.

Hmm. Possibly it wouldn't be quite so bad if they'd just call it by a more appropriate name, like Goggled Clockwork Hooker, and go play somewhere else. So. When will this lounge music be available? If I order NOW, will I get a second copy for free?