Panic at the Spambot and I were at terms, once I realised how much they reminded me of a spambot. Comfortable terms, even: there were no drawn swords, and I only marginally frothed at the mouth when I heard their name. I even downloaded a song of theirs because I didn't actually realise I had a remix version of it on the Snakes On A Plane soundtrack. I am also a big enough person to say that it was a typical remix: in other words, the original version is better. I managed to admit (to myself) that if their songs actually matched their titles, I would be a lot happier with them: not even I could hate a song that actually was titled "Build God, Then We'll Talk", assuming that the lyrics lived up to that title. (They don't. Also, Ryan Ross,
please shut up about prostitutes.)
So things were okay. They weren't necessarily great: I have no desire at ALL to paint birds on my face. (Parenthetically, when I kidnap TAI..., my only request may very well be that Butcher designs a tattoo for me because I love his trees.) It was kind of a case of, at some point, needing to annex the county because this town isn't big enough for both of us. But for the moment, it was okay.
I have just had to annex the county, and I am going to drive Panic out into it, covered in tar, feathers, and the garbage that hasn't been picked up for a week because of the snow.
Because they did
THIS.
Yes. That is a cover of Karma Police.
Actually, calling it a
cover is a little bit extreme. I realise that there are people on my flist who have very strong opinions pro-Panic, but I think we've all agreed to just disagree on this issue. And we
have to, because there is NO WORLD in which I can countenance a crappy lounge version of Karma Police. I don't even really
like Karma Police, certainly not more than a whole bunch of other Radiohead songs I like far more, but this version is just completely neutered. For serious. There is no power to it at all, and Urie CANNOT sell the line about "This is what you get when you fuck with us", even though he tries (I can admit that he tries). In this case, Yoda was right: there is
no motherfucking try.
So I'm sorry, Panic at the Spambot, but I'm going to have to just refuse to acknowledge your existence in my town ever again. There's a big county out there; don't plan on crossing
my path. Otherwise, I will reach down Ross's throat and castrate him from the inside. It'll just have to be that way.
And I am gosh-darned sorry about that. But it's the only choice you've left me with.
And for everyone else: Happy Christmas!