This is not a picspam of love. This is a lineup.

[channonyarrow]

apiphile has, as ever, all the best ideas. When she said she wanted a bandom picspam that served as an introduction to who was who but left out many things like adoring commentary, 200+ pics of Ross's little finger, and WAGs, I stepped up and offered to serve.

This is my picspam.

In it you will find pictures of My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Panic At The Disco, The Academy Is..., Cobra Starship, Gym Class Heroes, and The Used. Bands that make an appearance in Thursday-verse will be specifically noted with an *, even if the whole band does not appear. You will also find insults, bitchy commentary, people with creepy eyes, and some attempt to theme around suits, except in the case of Butcher, where I was more looking for a picture where he was wearing clothes, because suits are HOT.

In it you will not find: omg commentary, adoring commentary, videos, interviews, timelines, departed members, WAGs, Dirty, pets, scene queens, consistent effort to go with recent pictures rather than better pictures, appreciation of seven-eighths of Panic At The Spambot, (yes, there ARE only four people in that band; I half appreciate Spencer Smith, and appreciation of 1/2 of 1 of 4 is 7/8 disdain) or much nudity. You will also not be informed as to what instruments anyone plays, because let's face it: this is a primer for apiphile's use, and you're not going to need to know. You might need to know that Vicky-T uses a baseball bat in Thursday-verse.

This is not comprehensive, not even of bandom as a whole, but you kind of have to make it off my newbie-radar before I give two shits about you, at least enough to go find pictures of you, upload them to my own account, and include them in my post.

I am absolutely not able to discuss Pete Wentz without wondering aloud why he has not yet been quarantined by the CDC, nor of not pouring forth verbal evil when discussing Panic At The Spambot. But the pics are kind of nice.

I even managed to refrain from suggesting that Wentz is a pedo or calling Ryan Ross The Littlest Camwhore. Other than in that sentence, I mean.


My Chemical Romance*

L-R: Frank, Bob, Gerard, Mikey, Ray

Gerard Way

Gerard is, possibly, the most earnest human being ever. He wants to save your life, because you saved his life. He wants equality for everyone. He has a grasp of comedy, and he writes a srs bzns comic book, which may get made into a movie. (Surprisingly, there is no evidence of a Napoleon complex, possibly because he can loom over Frank.) His blog makes me laugh out loud. It's really hard to make bitchy comments about Gerard, actually; he doesn't seem to leave himself flapping in the breeze the way that other people Pete Wentz do.

Mikey Way

I can't lie. It's possible that Mikey Way has the stupidest face of all time. I'm not being cute - he has a stupid face. But he does have awesome boots. I once had Mikey's actual address; if I'd had more money to buy a plane ticket, I could have those boots. And, parenthetically, Mikey, probably, but really, who wants Woeface McGee as a housepet?

Frank Iero

I am really looking forward to seeing the new album visual concept later this year, particularly since it seems reasonable to assume that creepy-pornstache-NASCAR Frank is not part of it. Frank is usually hot, but when he chooses to, he can do GODDAMN CREEPY with the best of them. It comes of being Italian. We're all one shower away from looking like Mafiosos. Hint: this is not creepy-pornstache-NASCAR Frank. Note absence of pedo-stache.

Bob Bryar

Bob is apiphile's very favourite, so there is nothing I can really say that could elucidate on his awesome. Also, I don't hate Bob, so it's hard to work up a head of steam on insulting him. He's camera shy, but everyone in MCR thanks god for the day he brought Bob to them, and I don't blame them!

Ray Toro

Ray is camera shy, people shy, convinced that everyone on the net is slashing him with his coworkers, and probably right to believe all those things. Also, he has awesome hair. I don't know, I tend to skip over stories that have Ray in them because of his express request re: slash and himself. At least, over the slash fics.

Fall Out Boy*

L-R: Joe, Patrick, Pete, Andy

Pete Wentz

Basically, Pete is the butt of about eighty five percent of my bandom-related jokes. For a REASON. The other fifteen percent is covered by Brendon Urie. I have tried to start the book on Wentz snapping and killing people; I haven't done that because I think he's a nice, well-adjusted boy, or even because he's a reasonable representation of a man who makes a living by, basically, not being part of mainstream society and those people tend to be a little odd. I think he's crazy, dangerous, and more than a little skeevy (not even because of his sex life!). He also has a Napoleon complex so big and visible that clearly he's got a closet at home with a Napoleonic dress uniform in it; he wears the hat while planning Clandestine's next move, which will probably be trying to force NASA to paint a Bartskull on the side of the space station.

Patrick Stump(h)

Patrick wears hats because he has never heard of the Internet, despite being photographed numerous times with a fetching MacBook Pro (the very computer this picspam is being posted with!) and not realising that we all know he wears hats because he's going bald. As he's about fifteen, I can see where this would be upsetting - no one likes age-inappropriate hairloss - but at the same time, it's also very male logic, by which I mean "the logic cannot be seen with either Palomar or a microscope." We know. Get over your tiny baldspot, Patrick. Also, in my private universe, I have money on Pete only being stopped at becoming a serial killer because someday Patrick will punch him so hard time actually bends and Pete can go really be Napoleon.

Joe Trohman

Joe is a rarity for Fall Out Boy, because I actually like him. He's awesome. He's also hell on wheels on stage, and it's cool. I love the hair.

Andy Hurley

It's been pointed out to me that the article I was basing much of my dislike of Andy on was gerrymandered, so I won't bring that up in support. I will say two things: one is that Andy essentially REALLY REALLY REALLY bothers me - I would say scares me, except that's an overused term, and it's usually "cute". I am not being cute. As far as I'm concerned, Andy is not mentally stable, and in ways that make Pete "I tried to off myself in the parking lot of a Best Buy" Wentz look normal. And even aside from that, I have a HUGE issue with extremists. If you're an extremist vegan (ie, humans are the problem and there is no solution) then obviously ... you should kill yourself, rather than stand around pointing out that humans are the problem and everyone's doin' it wrong. This is also the solution for male extreme feminists, so don't think I'm only picking on vegans.


Panic At The Spambot

L-R: Spencer, Ryan, Brendon, Jon

Ryan Ross

I don't like Ryan Ross one tiny bit. Several people I know have tried to bring me to sane acceptance of the existence of PATS, but despite my respect for those kind people, it's not happening. There is no way in this universe that I will like PATS. And that is, in many ways, primarily because of Ryan Ross. Let's say it this way: if you see him in front of your car? YOU HIT THE GAS.

Brendon Urie

I will be the first to admit that Brendon has an unfortunate resemblance to someone I kind of want to punch in the face, so that's colouring some of my impression of him. Or all of it. I don't know, I don't know anything about Brendon other than the fannish interpretation of him, which is essentially made of Pixy Stix. And just remember, too much sugar gives you diabetes. There's a huge deal made in fandom about his "porno lips" and I really don't get that.

Spencer Smith

I actually halfway like Spencer! I don't even know entirely why, since I know nothing about them except the fannish interpretation, which is, for Spencer, OCD and the only one who keeps Ryan, Brendon, and Jon from turning into stoned, crazy homeless people. Also, I admire the bitchface. This is not the best representation of same, but really: how many pictures of PATS do you expect me to look at? This pic will let you pull him out of a lineup.

Jon Walker

Another person in PATS I don't like! Jon has this fannish representation as "a real boy". Given all the focus on the penises of bandmembers, I can't judge why that conclusion would be drawn; as far as I'm concerned, we all know they're ALL real boys especially Pete Wentz since they all wear pants tight enough to prove it or take pics of their cocks that get posted to the internet Pete Wentz. I don't know, I went to college with stoners: my association there is that they have skanky dreads and don't know what soap is, so I basically tapped out my unwashed-stoners-are-cute tolerance in 1997.


The Academy Is...*

L-R: Chiz, Sisky, William, Mike, Butcher

William Beckett

I debated using this pic, because Beckett's got a purty mouf, but then I thought "Hey! This is the man who wrote three albums about kinky sex, Mrs Robinson, high school, and bondage! I'm gonna use a semi-bondage pic if I want!" William has only a one-line reference in Thursday-verse, which makes me sadface, as he is the prettiest princess in all of bandom, and has hidden depths. He is srs bzns, yo. Srs musician, yo. He is not solely his looks, or his blog, or his twitter (and his blog is one of the most hilarious things that has ever happened. I want to pat him on the head and laugh and point out that it's okay to be 24 going on 25, he doesn't need to be 24 going on 40.) or even his Jack Daniels, but that last point is kind of awesome. As someone else has suggested, it is quite possible that William was born drunk. He is also extremely tall. I like drinking and tall people, so obviously he should come to my house and live in my cage that I keep expressly for trapping rockstars.

Adam T. Siska (Sisky)

Sisky didn't grow up in the scene, he grew up in a band. He's got a lot of ability to deal with fans - he's been the only one to hang out at the two TAI... shows I've been to - but he's also got no ability to deal with his hair. I think the two things are related.

Mike Carden

There's some kind of statement in horse-buying circles - obviously, I buy horses every day - about not buying a horse that's narrow across the eyes because they're bad-tempered. By the same token, never buy a Mike Carden that's narrow across the eyes. He rubs me the wrong way, and I'm not sure if that's because William is pretty so the band's writing style gets kind of blamed on Carden or if he really is the dick he's rumoured to be, or if he's actually a nice guy - never talked to him personally, but he did wave, so I have no idea how to call it. However, I don't like his face.

Michael Guy Chislett

Chizzy is Australian. I like Australians! I know nearly nothing else about him. Also, he can't spell, but don't hold it against him - he dropped out. And that statement pretty much makes me want to say "Dude, if you couldn't spell by sixteen, you were never gonna be able to." He was homeless until TAI... called him.

The Butcher (Andy Mrotek)

The Butcher clearly has some kind of clothing-related phobia. This is one of very few pics where he is even reasonably clothed, which I assume means, despite the presence of the Eiffel Tower, that the picture was actually taken in Antarctica. Sometimes, I like to look at his tiny pink shorts and laugh myself sick. Also, that black-and-white burnoose around his neck here? Yeah, that's a sweater of William's that got shrunk in the wash. It turns out to be surprisingly versatile.


Cobra Starship*

L-R: Nate, Ryland, Gabe, Vicky-T, Alex

Gabe Saporta

Gabe, much like Scarlett, is never going to be poor again. Gabe is a total refugee from the eighties who is bringing neon back and calling it sexy. Or sassy, if you prefer fewer JT references - not that Gabe does! In his performance/persona clothes, the man wears a pendant of Justin Timberlake. Without evident irony. I think it's safe to say, however much I like Gabe (even more than I like William!) that Gabe is smart enough to realise what the scene will buy, and feeds it to us raw.

Ryland Blackinton

What this pic doesn't show is that Ryland is actually seventeen feet tall (I believe that he's actually the second tallest person on the FBR label, and is slightly taller than Gabe, who is, obviously, taller than William) and that he has cult-leader eyes. Everyone talks about Gabe's creepy (or rapist) eyes, but it's Ryland who you've got to watch out for, in my opinion. Gabe might rape you and leave you for dead in an alley; Ryland will have you wearing organic hemp, donating your wordly goods to his organisation, and referring to him as Bhagwan. And remember, you should have only gruel and the burlap on your back; the Bhagwan should have seventeen gold Rolls-Royces, because enlightenment should be rewarded. And that all makes it sound like I think Ryland has con-man eyes. He doesn't. They're creepy, creepy killer/sociopath eyes, though I believe in Thursday-verse he's a con-man in the past; I assume that has more to do with his smooth talkin'.

Vicky-T

Vicky-T, in Thursday-verse, is a former drug addict and current Gabe addict who kills people with a baseball bat. apiphile and I have discussed in detail how amazingly awesome this is, not because it's murder but because a baseball bat is the least "girly" weapon ever, AND because she does it in a dress and stockings. Thursday-verse Vicky-T, I believe you are the real Vicky-T, even if your weapon of choice is usually a keytar.

Alex Suarez

Alex once learned how to be a professional chef. Obviously, the logical leap is to music, though I hope that doesn't become too widespread. Gordon Ramsay playing a glockenspiel would probably be awesome, though. Alex has recently learned how to style his hair so that it doesn't resemble a haystack.

Nate Novarro

Nate apparently really did live in Gabe's basement for a while; Cobra has a song called It's Warmer In The Basement, and Gabe is on record indicating that he'd like to keep various people in his basement. And thus, a million fanfics were born! Nate is also the shortest member of Cobra, though that may still make him about ten feet taller than PWeezy or Frank.

Bonus Cobra pics
I said I wasn't going to do this, but I can't pass these pics up. Also, in Thursday-verse, Cobra is a gang: there is a reason this was a hard part of the 'spam for me - Cobra is not usually photographed as solo members.


Art shots are love.


Every single person in this picture has creepy creepy eyes.


Gym Class Heroes*

L-R: Eric, Disashi, Matt, Travis

Travis McCoy

Travis used to date Katy Perry and has said that all-over-print limited-edition hoodies are like fat chicks. This is shockingly off-message for the scene (yes, I realise GCH isn't entirely scene) which has by and large, at least in my hearing, been amazingly female- and queer-positive. Obviously, little pecadilloes like William helping write Naked Peekaboo counts on the ledger against William's amazing female-positive stance on life, but it's hard - for me, and I don't read interviews exhaustively - to find something as blatantly dissing of women as the fat-chicks statement, which I don't even entirely recall. Consequently, I'm not entirely pro on GCH.

Disashi Lumumba-Kasongo

I literally know nothing about this dude. I assume he's good at what he does, but he might want to look into marketing. I'm in the scene and I know nothing of him!

Eric Roberts

Another dude I know nothing about! Nice art corners!

Matt McGinley

He seems to like clothes? On the drummers on this page, I think it's evenly split between clothed and nude, so that's important information to have.


The Used*

L-R: Quinn, Bert, Dan, Jepha

Bert McCracken

I can't insult Bert. All of bandom is ready and willing to take that on anyway. I more want to put him in my pocket (he may be the most pocket-sized member of bandom, and given that the bands are, by and large, made up of a group of overcompensating short dudes, that's saying something) and take him home and give him cookies. Though I have the feeling that I'd shoot him myself pretty quick when he failed to wash, giggled, and did something really, really gross, like eat feces.

Jepha Howard

Actually, I think that's kind of true of all of The Used. They all seem to be really nice, ridiculously comfortable-with-themselves people. I'm not saying they have no issues, just that they tend to get the short end of the stick when they really, really shouldn't.

Quinn Allman

Which, obviously, means I've run out of snark. I'm sorry! This took two hours last night and at least six today, and there are only like forty pictures in it. I get why people who post those 200+ spams of Ross's weird scarves always run out of things to say. It doesn't help that ending with TU is just as bad as ending with MCR would've been, because when confronted with either band, I am stuck in that "GIVE THEM COOKIES!" place. They make me ridiculously happy.

Dan Whitesides

Former drummer for New Transit Direction, I believe? Likes clothing. That's about what I know.

So there you have it. Because I like to stomp ALL OVER the hearts of scene kids, this leaves out such popularly-accepted bands as The Cab, The Sounds, and The Hush Sound. Because I hate your music, it also leaves out such up-and-coming bands as Hey Monday and Sing It Loud.

If Kill Hannah is somehow not miraculously scene, then your bands aren't either.

Comments

[writteninsable.livejournal.com]

I am totally impressed by your restraint where PatD is concerned. :P Also, I basically completely agree with you on everything else. *grins* Yay bandom. Have a gratuitous Joe Troh Fro icon.

<3
Cai

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

The Joe Troh Fro is AMAZING. I would go see another FOB show if a) I knew Cobra was opening, and b) the tickets weren't like fifty bucks each, JUST TO SEE THE FRO.

It turns out, spending ludicrous amounts of time looking for pics, posting pics, and writing commentary, means that my snarkinator is just empty, even when confronted with Ryan Ross and the ability to say anything I want.

Maybe I should do a "Why Ryan Ross Should Be My Voodoo Doll" post at some point.

[writteninsable.livejournal.com]

Hah... I keep having to remind myself that I know absolutely nothing about them because otherwise I might facepalm all the time about RR. Spencer Smith is totally made of win, though. I'm glad you halfway like him. :P

I have yet to actually see FOB in concert, which makes me sad. They'll be in NC on the 24th, but that's my brother's birthday. Terrible timing, FOB. Terrible timing.

If you made that RR post, I would read it and laugh.

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

I've gotten to the point where I've just decided that we have SO MUCH access to them and they have some reasonable responsibility to clarify things, say things, and generally be interactive little meat puppets that if they're not going to, I can judge them on THAT. I fucking hate cryptic twitters and blogs, because all it does is make the fandom go nuts. And, relevant or not, Keltie made her side of the RR/KC breakup evidently clear - in a way that doesn't cast RR in a good light. I can get behind not wanting to spread the wank out over the internet, but at the same time, saying something like "She's right and I fucked up," is gonna be of use to the fandom since the whole thing is public anyway from the other side! And I assume that she WAS right, or he WOULD have said something. (Actually, I'm still about 1/4 convinced that it's all fake in order to get us to lay off of her.)

They're gonna be HERE tomorrow, but I don't want to go unless I know Cobra's opening, which I don't know, and in any event tickets are, seriously, like fifty bucks, which I don't want to spend, considering how little I liked FOB the last time I saw them in concert. And now I have a birthday party. I'm seriously tempted to stop by the venue, though, as Cobra says they're gonna have a parking lot party everywhere.

[writteninsable.livejournal.com]

Your stance on RR is pretty much how I feel about the whole situation. If she was lying, he should say something. If she wasn't, he should man up and admit that he's an asshat. Either way, some reaction is better than none. Cause now he's just come off looking like an idiot. Which, you know, whatever - I'm still a little squinty because if he did cheat on her, that makes him like the biggest hypocrite ever, what with one of their hit songs being Lying. *hands* Whichever. Like I said, I know nothing about them and I keep trying to not be like, all up in their biznass. *snorts*

See, if you're talking about Bamboozle... I'm pretty sure Cobra's at least there. One sec - I get Twitter updates from Alternative Press. The Tweet they posted yesterday says this: Going to Bamboozle Left this weekend? Stop by the AP Booth on Sat for signings with FALL OUT BOY, FOREVER THE SICKEST KIDS & COBRA STARSHIP!

So I'm not sure about opening, but they're at least gonna be there. AP also says that Cobra's tour with FOB starts this weekend, which I'm assuming means Bamboozle, so you know. You should go and give me a call from the concert like you did that time with MCR. And hope the phones work better this time. *amused*

[temporal-tech.livejournal.com]

TAI is a bunch of pretty boys.

Kill Hannah should have fics. And so should 30 Sec to Mars.

Gah, need to email my folks instead of spending time reading LJ.

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

TAI are VERY pretty boys.

I KNOW! Kill Hannah is from Chicago, just like TAI... and EMPIRES, and FOB, and BOB BRYAR. They wear EYELINER! How are they not scene? Dude, I actually got into Kill Hannah by seeing some kid in the Life On The Murder Scene DVD wearing a Kill Hannah shirt and thinking that if he liked MCR and KH, maybe I would like KH.

You also need to update and let us know how it's going with the baby! I'm assuming you are EXHAUSTED, so I hope you get a chance to rest.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

ILU, bro. <3 Now I link to this.

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Awesome!

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

And now I throw a FIT because I am trying to draw Vicky-T and people's arms go STUPID PLACES when they're wielding a baseball bat and I can't fucking draw.

... I am meant to be writing.

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

I threw a fit all over my journal. it was sort of refreshing: I've now clearly identified all the people I need to kill.

I think I still have a baseball bat in the trunk of my car, too.

[ruthi.livejournal.com]

I read this. I enjoyed it. I looked at the pictures.

(Why do people all look alike why. two eyes in front, nose in the middle, mouth underneath. all look alike.)

I shall now have to bookmark it and have it open for reading Thursdayverse. You are bad people, enabling apiphile and swear_jar.

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Hah, apiphile and swear_jar are late to the party!

I think people look alike because our educational system was foreordained in the stars of the Pegasus Quadrant, and Whoever created us said "I think I can do something so that their children, verily, doth not get the shit kicked out of themselves at school for having feet in uncool places."

[strangefrontier.livejournal.com]

Eeeeeexcellent. This is exactly the sort of picspam primer I was bothering apiphile for, snarky commentary included. I am slowly learning who people are and can now approach the Thursdayverse with far more ! and :D than ? and :/ . There is a lot more variety to bandom haircuts than I had prevously thought, which helps to differentiate people. I automatically think Vicky-T is awesome because she plays the keytar. ♥

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

It's been so long since I was new to a fandom that I've forgotten that process - even with my extreme dislike of Panic At The Spambot, they've been rammed down my throat for so long that I have some sense of who they are and what they do - so I am glad this is helpful! Is there anything else I can post/provide that would help further? (JOIN US, WE HAVE THE HOT GUYS AND GIRLS.)

I automatically think Vicky-T is awesome because she plays the baseball bat keytar too!

[strangefrontier.livejournal.com]

Clearly I came to the right people for the brainwashing conversion! Splendid stuff. (And how typical of me to resist any sparks of curiosity about bandom until I discover fic involving ultraviolence...)

[graeae.livejournal.com]

Re: The Butcher - What you don't know is... that's not the Eiffel Tower. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

You left someone out!




Or does he not count?

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Pft, he doesn't even have an ALBUM out, hello. I have nothing but contempt until there's an album out.

No, actually, this was just really hitting the major high points of bandom for the Thursday-verse fics written by apiphile and swear_jar and illustrated by strangecreature. Several people did not know who was who, so I said I'd do a lineup picspam.

YOUR THEORIES INTRIGUE ME AND I WOULD LIKE TO SUBSCRIBE TO YOUR NEWSLETTER. *G*

[morebliss.livejournal.com]

I would like to give MCR and The Used cookies too. And you should get some as well for this wonderful primer!

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm glad it was useful!

I think we should start a cookie fund, actually. You know, everyone kick in like a dozen cookies on a given day and we all ship them to the address that was posted for MCR's guy, and then we can find The Used's address, and do the same again!

[morebliss.livejournal.com]

We should stockpile all the finest cookies in the land, and then tell the boys they only get them when Gerard and Bert make out up. I bet Frankie and Jepha would fucking work overtime to make it happen.

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

I like the way you think!

[x-missdarko-x.livejournal.com]

Man, that was funny. I can't say I support all your opinions on the bandom boys myself, but it's nice to see your commentary on all of them. You're witty, and you love as many of them as you don't. Yay for picspams with a critical edge!

[(Anonymous)]

eepp.. you've got great comments and most of them i really agree onn.. only i wish you didn't have to have cobra starship and the used/MCR on the same page... it's like an insult to The Used and mcr. :(

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Which is FUNNY, because I love Cobra - they're one of my favourite bands of all time - but I really don't much care for the Used! Isn't that awesome, how this works out where it's my journal and telling me that I shouldn't like something is ludicrous?

If you don't like it don't comment.