I need to decide whether it's funnier to use keyword stuffing in my bad website, or if it's safer to not keyword stuff on a legit domain. However, I have managed to make a really, really hilarious bad website - because I THOUGHT I had two backgrounds that would never, ever be high-contrastable with text - and then I found out that actually, the colours I already had set (a sort of greeny-teal and a pale pink) WORKED GREAT. I'm leaving it alone, because I think it's better to make it JUST readable than to make it really totally unreadable.

I need to submit some apps and then find some more tags to make this into a real masterpiece of tacky.

Goalz, I haz dem.

ATTENTION. ATTENTION.

You will no longer be receiving comments from "a boy with anger management issues". Much as I love that userhandle, and much as I ♥ the flame war that gave it birth, I feel that I have, simply have to or I will die, to use strangecreature's "Character x hears voices. They make sense."

As you were.

Also, I cannot type on this keyboard. GO TEAM HEWLETT-PACKARD.

Anyone on my flist who can identify Java in the wild? I have a webpage that uses a menu effect I want to copy. I can't read javascript as relative to this (from view source) and the view source is fairly insistent that I'm wrong, no way man, it's all just CSS, man, what kind of girl do I take the webpage to be?

I know it's not Flash because I can view source.

Anyone willing to take a look and tell me what the fuck I'm looking at? I seriously just need to know if it's Java or CSS.

I really, really, really have no idea why the hell I code, much less why I think I can actually make it in a Web Media course. I lack the patience to actually get an understanding of CSS, which means that I pretty much spend my time looking for specific solutions to specific problems without bothering to see how it fits into the larger scheme of things. The only reason I have any understanding of HTML at all is because I coded my first website back in, like, 2000, so at this point I've pretty much done everything you can do with HTML, in some form or other.

On the other hand, maybe a Web Media course will teach me some degree of patience, and I'll be able to reassign win conditions based on smaller targets: instead of the win condition being an aesthetically-pleasing, custom coded, non-stolen layout that does specific things, maybe the win condition needs to be "get links and background to be a colour where you can actually see both."

If I'd played video games as a kid I might have that thought process: defeat level 1, great, but you haven't won the game. But no, I read books. They're pretty straightforward. You get to the end of the book, you've won, you move on. (When you read as fast as I do, chapters are not win conditions.)

Sadly, the only thing that kept me from buying a book on Silverlight, one on Web Design, and one on Asp yesterday was the thought that I really did not need $120.00 of books I wasn't going to read and comprehend. It wasn't anything so logical as the fact that I don't need to know Silverlight (yeah, I know it's new, it's now, it's so hot right now, we might as well just call it Hansel) and I HAVE books on Web Design (that I don't read). And there is no conceivable universe in which I will ever need to know Asp as I understand what it does, so there's that. I just like books, quit judging me. Also, if that universe ever changes, the Web Media course will teach me Asp, so.

I do not, however, like the current cover of Different Seasons. Man, that's assy. It almost looks like they've changed the name of the book to Apt Pupil. I shouldn't have bought it, but I've needed to read Shawshank Redemption for a while now, and the book was there, so.

When I was putting the music into the box, I thought "Oh god, I've completely lost it, an MCR song I don't know the name of immediately!" Then I realised that I could identify that it was off Three Cheers, so I felt moderately better, and then I realised it's probably one of my least-favorite tracks of theirs (it's a fine song, I just don't really like it, though I dislike some of their others a lot more) and then I felt okay again.

Also, it's probably bad that I am actually considering, on the encouragement of some people, writing something that would be just a clusterfuck walking. I have good reasons for not writing RPF (if I've ever spoken to you, for instance) and ... I don't even know. My life is very hard.

But!
- I can't do short writing. I think my shortest complete work is 25,000 words.
- I can't write at least five major figures in the main characters' lives because I've spoken to them, and that's just my personal no-go.
- I am scared to death that given my personal preference in writing (dark, with a side of dark, and one of extreme violence) writing RPF would be a terrible, terrible, terrible idea. Other people can do that, and do it well. I just think I would be in the category of people who cannot do it, let alone well.

So why won't my brain stop thinking about this?

Also, yes, the shifting morality here is just HILARIOUS. Trust me, I KNOW. *stabs brain* I remember a time, a long time ago, that I said I wouldn't ever even READ RPF, and it's just been all downhill from there. Apparently, next week I'll be kicking puppies.

You know what I want?

I want a platform that I can consistently code LJ in. I set up the layout I'm using in IE. It worked fine, except that the image map got lost somehow and I never bothered to set up the sidebar.

Then I switched to Safari. Say what you will, I like Safari. Layout was broken, though, so I reset things (I don't even want to know what it looks like in IE) to appear correct in Safari. Reset image map, still haven't finished the sidebar. It's an S1 layout, so there's no automatic tag cloud, and hand-coding my tag cloud is either scary or sub-optimal (I can get the code for a list layout by going to the tag page and viewing source, but not for a non-list version. I don't want the list version.).

Now I want to compare with my writing journal. So I dled Firefox, because it annoys me that you can't reopen Safari so that you can log into the same site under a different name. Turns out that the header image in that layout doesn't show up.

Fun!

I think it is time for a G&T and to do some sewing. Or possibly to stab something.

A.) Mad props to exairian. Look to my icon for the reason. ++GOOD! (Now I can annoy my coworkers a whole lot more. *g*)

B.) I would really like to buy myself this hoodie - but there's one typo and one situationally-wrong capitalisation on it, and I can't justify dropping $45.00 on a hoodie that will put me in physical pain to wear.

And yet, part of me says. (This is the part that says that posters are really people. Watching me.) And yet. This is the text that I have on my cube wall at work, to relax myself in between flaying morons with. This is the text that I have quoted, in a rare move, in its entirety in this very LJ. This is the text that I based the entire tag "the fear engine" from. This is the text that I have run about sharing with every human being on the planet because it is so goddamn funny to be able to say "I will open one of my six mouths and sing the song that ends the part of the earth you are standing on first" in meetings. It's not so funny if no one gets it. (When they do, they tend to back away slowly. When they don't, they tend to back away a lot more quickly.)

But it's still got an extra period, and that "Goddamn" should not be capitalised like that.

So lo, I am sad, but whatevs, I'm not buying something that asstastically expensive if it's going to make me want to kill puppies to look at it. THIS IS WHAT MY JOB HAS BROUGHT ME TO.

C.) My boss is officially more emo than I am, and has threatened to change his name to Raivin, write shitty emo poetry, and seized enthusiastically on my suggestion of gardening in the dark.

D.) Eff this layout, I need to fix it.

E.) Oh har, it helps to hit save.

So, I got half a layout before I found out that the problem wasn't with LJ, it was with Safari.

Yey.

Safari has now been reloaded into a version that has scrollbars (this is my wtf face) and I still have half a layout (at this point, it's not worth going back to the old one, since that background disappeared when GJ went down like a two dollar whore, though this one needs one graphical tweak and a bunch of textual tweaks and also, oh, I don't know, a new header entirely, thx.

And then I went and looked at the new Word. And then I cried. Is it really too early for gin?

ETA: Oh, yeah, I also need a code compiler because I'm really curious - the layout I'm using had such interesting commands as "transpeareant" and "visiable", so obviously the layout itself wasn't affected, so I'm curious to know, you know, what those actually were intended to do, and what replaced them.

WTTE:
1) sidebar in comment view
2) comment view itself is evil
3) text colour
4) font omg
5) splitters
6) tag box
7) free text box credit for layout and inspiration
8) recover old layout code in style
9) blue shit
10) friends title
11) userinfo boxes background & display side
12) link text transform (or elim code)
13) long form date
14) subject line hyphen
15) shift usericon&info to right er, never mind
16) move header
17) reorder menu bar
18) rename elements in menu bar?
19) define width for RSS feeds and photos

What's sad is that by the time I get done with this I'm really going to want to keep it forever, but I don't like the layout all that much. Oddly, I'm not very into fannish layouts, at least not for me. So, of course, that's why I MAKE THEM. But I have an awesome layout of a burning cliff that I'm working on.

I really was surprised to realise, just now, that I don't get a summer vacation. This, I feel, is entirely unfair, particularly as so much of my social circle does. But, you know, my job doesn't feel like work, exactly, so maybe that's why I feel that way. Also, it's spring, and in spring I do Strange Things.

Like bud.

I have completely fallen apart at doing anything in the interest of coding. No progress on book, no progress on corset, no progress on reading list, no progress on, um, anything. But I made a character sheet today! It's all...filled in and shit! I'm awesome!

Oh HTML. I'd snuggle you at night. In light of the fact I can't do that, I'd settle for snuggling a programmer. Or, you know, what happened last night, when I fell asleep on the HTML book I bought in the interest of actually, like, figuring out what the fuck I'm doing without having to change the font colour of every single link tab in a 40-cell, 40-link table.

Oh web design. Why didn't I take the job doing coding? Why? I love it so!

No, really. I really do love it, and I just never do it because it's like "Well, I have LJ, so why would I bother?" But I love it, and the site I'm coding now is AWESOME, and it will ROCK, and it's NOT IN RED AND BLACK.

I am made of win today.

But ebay is not! Ebay, you whore! Ebay, you trashy slut! Ebay, you...I'll stop now.

Why do I have so many of my lovely, lovely auctions that are ending during the funeral? MY main question was whether my parents would have their laptop with them so I could put in last-minute bids on auctions ending on Thursday night!

Someday I'll be in therapy over the fact that sometimes I have this pang that I'm totally not bothered by the fact that my grandmother is dead. Or else I'll be ruling the world and crushing all under my steel and velvet bootheel.

You know. One or the other.

Yay. So no one's online to play with so I am considering updating my userinfo. And also sorting out the layout bits that are ugly. Like, getting rid of the CSS bits because they don't show up in Safari and Firefox. And of course THAT would mean learning a lot of new code.

This is so not smart, particularly since I have FOUR books and a Bunch O' Shite to finish by the end of the week.

Yays!