channonyarrow

Today, I vandalised a car. I'm happy to report that it's the first time I recall ever doing so deliberately (I don't think I did anything like that during my wild youth but honestly, I'm having trouble remembering entire decades at this point, I don't think I should claim to remember 13) and I also believe that Douchebag McCockHat had it coming. Parking so close to me that I can't get into my car with anything like ease and within half an inch of me ending that clause at "can't get into my car" is behaviour that I feel justifies me to some recourse. Normally, I would prefer to speak to the parking attendant to get the person to move their goddamn van, but that wasn't an option.

So I slammed my door into theirs. Fuck you, fuckhead. Sorry you wanted that space so badly (and apparently, that particular space, undifferentiable from any other on that level of the parking garage) that you felt it appropriate to park within eight inches of my car door. Also, I'm sorry that I kind of have, you know, a JOB that I had to go to, after the Appointment From Hell, so I couldn't actually wait around for your ass to come back out and MOVE YOUR CAR.

Although, the AFH may have had something to do with my utter rage. I mean, it may just be ME, but I don't actually think it's appropriate for the non-attending medical personnel to just walk into the room I'm being seen in (and am exposed in, thanks a lot, because I really want to be in a position to give an eyeful to any patient off the street, this is why I'm a part-time high-rise-based stripper, it is totally) without a) knocking and b) MORE THAN ONCE.

I will actually be filing a complaint about this, on the advice of my mother who is a (former) nurse for the same hospital.

I will also mention the timekeeping aspect of the whole thing. I mean, if you tell me to be there by 7:30 for a 7:45 appointment and I move heaven and earth to get there by 7:35 in surprisingly heavy rush hour traffic, I do actually expect to not cool my heels for another 29 minutes before I'm seen. And it turns out that $hospital has a policy of not making patients wait (at least without explanation) for more than 15 minutes. So, you know, THERE WE ARE.

Also, dear examining person whose name, rank, and serial number I never got because I don't routinely bring a car battery, ten feet of wire, and a pair of alligator clips to my cardiology appointments, maybe next time you do an EKG you'd like to actually EXAMINE your patient first? But I do realise that you were very startled by my yips of pain when you crushed the goddamn wand into extremely thick, extremely painful scar tissue. I tend to make loud noises when shit hurts. SORRY ABOUT THAT.

I am almightily pleased that my car has nary a sign of injury to show for my use of it as a crushing weapon. Not entirely sure what happened to Asshat McDickBag's car, but I did see paint loss. And I genuinely have no sympathy whatsoever. He (or she) chose to park in a space too small for his car (as determined by the giant, roof-supporting pole on the other side of the space) rather than looking for a better spot on another level ... I still need to get into my car. This parking garage is great and all, but I don't want to live here.

The irony is that the garage is one of the ones with those u-shaped double-line dividers with a shedload of room in them so you can't park too close to someone else without trying, AND it had the lines on the walls as well so you could aim your car appropriately. After years of trying to park at Westwood Village (motto: our parking places are 6 inches too small for anyone's car!) I sort of wanted to have sex with whoever designed the paint setup for this garage. And someone still managed to not be able to park.

Every day brings me one step closer to a cabin in the woods and a shotgun, it really does.

I'm thinking again about giving up social media. I feel totally alienated by it, honestly - I feel like I so rarely have something to say to someone else's LJ posts that I never comment, I've been slapped down one too many times by a fandom I tried to participate in to want to try to join in that conversation again, Facebook confuses me, and Twitter is composed of people who like everyone else more than they like me, so what exactly is the rush to beat myself up over social media? I can beat myself up over everything else I've ever done, including (but not limited to!)

1. Sitting next to someone I find VERY unstable in Group tonight and saying that I had spent the last week being a giant ragemonster. That ended well.
2. Not being able to force myself to interact with family members and a former student when I want to, if only to try to pretend for ten seconds that the dysfunction in these relationships isn't me.
3. Being Judgey McDoucherson if left to my own devices but turning into Zen Master Cass when confronted with my father doing the exact same thing I would do if he hadn't done it first.
4. Needing to stop being Team Mom for 30 minutes if only to take care of myself, emotionally, because half the people I associate with regularly aren't able or willing to reciprocate the emotional support I believe I give them.
5. Not cultivating a better relationship with Sane!Coworker because emotionally supporting MentalIssues!Coworker (not the one I have dubbed Initial) is so much more rewarding to Team Mom Me.
6. Not getting off my ass and doing things I don't want to because I will be unable to resolve the problem and therefore why not just fuck it up more upfront, like paying the life insurance, contacting the car insurance, getting a new dentist, talking to Sallie Mae. Continuing to not pay any of those will end well.
7. Liking to talk so much that I interrupt people because they've made me think of something and I'm excited and want to share it.
8. Not extending to other people the possibility that they have the same issues I claim to have and that's the real reason why I haven't gone to lunch with Phil or Josh this month despite their promises that this was a monthly think.
9. Not being able to muscle past my issues by sheer force of will.
10. Having issues at all.

So with that kind of busy schedule, I should stop beating myself up over things other people are doing and just get back to home-grown crazy. Think local!

On the bright side, if the problem with the website that I've been trying to fix for months turns out to be application-pool related, I will consider myself the most brilliant networking motherfucker to ever network. And also, I still have to call Integra and let them know that one of their techs is never, ever to be dispatched to us ever again because I refuse to be treated like a not-very-intelligent dirty sock by someone who intends to keep me as a client, and also they need to fix what he fucking broke.

And if the problem does turn out to be that we have, essentially, two routers in chain to each other (I don't know why, don't ask me, I don't do this shit, I would question my life choices if I were treating a print server box as a second router and didn't have it hooked up to the printer) I will require that someone crown me god of networking, Integra fire the most recent tech, and Crystaltech fire everyone I have spoken to before today, and then sacrifice them on an altar to my awesome.

That, I look forward to. It shall be glorious.

Now I'm gonna listen to the crows pace around on my roof for a while (it sounds like Hannibal crossing the Alps if you want to know) and then go to bed.

SCHOOL:

Let's see. I'm learning something already, how's that? I'm learning that the fact that I never did a standard American style undergrad degree means that I have NO FUCKING CLUE how this works.

I wound up making a spreadsheet of the classes I need to take, the classes I WANT to take, and the classes I hope to be able to waive (or will certainly be able to waive) but still need the number of credits for the course. I noted prereqs/recommendeds, as well. Then I went to the next page, side by side, and put in a tentative schedule, fifteen credits per quarter, for all the classes in the order they need to be taken.

Let me tell you, that shit is hard. I have a complete clusterfuck happening if I do in fact go back to school and I can't get into CTN 161 until fall because it's not offered in summer, but I THINK I have a tentative work-around that involves swapping BUS 116 or ART 114 into summer and shoving CTN 162 into winter and CTN 161 to fall. I HOPE that works, anyway, but I think the only prereq I've got out of the CTN 160-162 block is 160. And since ART 114 is Intro to Digital Photography and I'm taking it as a total elective, it doesn't matter where that winds up falling, though I would like to take it before Video Art I if at all possible.

But see, my point, several 'graphs back, is that I have never had to take a course like this. Because I am retarded, or because the American standard educational system is retarded, I have gone entirely to schools where the course scheduling goes something like this.
1) You sign up for a full-year, 48-credit course.
2) You complete the course.
3) You repeat to 180 credits.
4) You graduate.
OR
1) You apply to the school of the subject you are interested in studying.
2) You select, from a variety of options, three specific courses that interest you, but since you're talking Geographical Anthropology, for example, you're chosing between Oceania and Japan, let's say, not between Russian and Automotive Engineering.
3) You write a dissertation and sit a written exam.
4) You graduate.

Do you see the problem? DO YOU? Do you see that it is, for example, a lot EASIER to schedule this shit where you're taking CTN 160-162 simultaneously since that is the biggest headache you face by coming in out of sequence in the school year, but you can't because they are Web Production I, II, and III?

Also, AHAHAHAHA, I am looking at taking 13 Computer Technology courses (CTNs, very clever) and 6 Art courses. AHAHAHAHAHA.

There was an information tech course I wanted to take but I changed my mind when I realised that it was only offered at North Seattle and that I just had not read through the description of CTN 160-162 and was planning on taking the IT course for the experience with Java and Flash and something else, which those courses will give me. So now I have the Digital Photography course, which I have to have equipment valued between $175-$599 WHERE WILL I GET THAT? Fortunately, my dad has a camera that I think is quite expensive, so I can borrow that if I can't buy my own - and me buying a $175 camera is kind of like a person with no hands buying gloves. I might be able to use the camera on the other side of the class, but I have NEVER had the patience for photography - my pictures are crap, and I have adopted a philosophical objection to photos partly because I can't take them. So I'm not buying it to start with, that's for damn sure. Though I probably have to find out if it's compatible with the Mac before I start because otherwise I might as well move into the Geek Lab.

And yesterday's list.
1) Getting unofficial transcript from Evergreen so I don't have to take the COMPASS test. Figured out how to do this, now need to show Tim.
2) Getting official transcripts from Evergreen and Oxford so I can hopefully knock off fifteen-twenty credits (ahahahaha, you think I took a math class, HAHAHAHAHAHA.)
3) Getting CSC 100 waived because otherwise I will stab everyone in the world if I have to go be introduced to the internet.
4) Getting someone other than me to pay for the lot.

Steps 2 and 3 should be completed by tomorrow. Step 4 is gonna take some doin'. I have, however, determined that none of my credits EVER count toward math (and dude, I do not CARE what the WA State requirements are, I DIDN'T DO ANY MATH) and that I really don't even want to start dealing with getting a transcript from Oxford.

I look at my spreadsheet in the middle of the night and think "This is going to be FUN!"

*****

JOB:

Ahahahaha, NOTHING. Though I am going to apply to conduct the Underground Tour because that would be fun and awesome. I might also look at the community colleges around here; BCC had a GED instructor that sounded great until I realised that you have to have a degree in Adult Basic Education or else three years experience and I have 0 years' experience.

I can't even claim unemployment this week because I got paid for work I did in December last week and even if I am interested in defrauding the guv'mint, I probably should save that extra week for June when I still won't have a job. But I think I'm still going to turn in my three apps because - why not?

And I should know if I aced or flamed out the VT interview next week this time.

The problog is fun shit, though.

*****

FIC:

AHAHAHAHA, still does not have plot! Have turned into apiphile's research bitch in the hopes of getting an MCR-as-the-Rat-Pack AU and am having fun with that, especially since, in my considered opinion, GeeWay already sounds exactly like Sinatra; they have the same verbal tics.

HOWEVER. I have not found the appropriate voice for my characters, and I have stalled out with one page. I had two but I eated the other one. I really need to get a plot, though, because there are not enough crazy murderous sociopaths in the world, and I love writing crazy murderous sociopaths. So I'm going to keep giving it my best shot; we'll see.

Also, I am not editing my "real" writing and I would like someone to step up and volunteer to beat me into doing that. However, everyone I know is crazy busy (you have jobs, fuckers) and that's not going to happen. I can wish - and wishes are just a delaying tactic.

*****

REAL LIFE:

Have I mentioned that it has snowed MULTIPLE times this week and that when I was outside a little bit ago it was snowing AGAIN? Yeah. It's fucking FUN, people.

My insane shoes should be here soon, and also that I have a wicked bruise on my leg from where I tripped over the comics crate and it is NOT HEALING and it HURTS and I can't cross my legs at the ankle because OW FUCK HELL NO.

Also, my car is full of crap and my clock is stalled and my layout is noncompelling as far as finishing it goes and my chair is FINALLY being fixed by someone competent: ie, not me.

I feel lost.

The beauty of being at work at 11:30 pm is that I can actually unplug my headphones and play iTunes, and it fucking rules, because this version is, like, forever later than the version on my home comp (which is actually the very first generation of iTunes, yes, I have not bought a new computer since 2001) and the fade between tracks is awesome.

Of course, everything ELSE about being at work eleven hours after I was supposed to get off sucks. But there's almost an end in sight, and I won't be here till 2:30, at least, thank fuck, that was LAST Friday.

I expect to (gasp) resume normal function...soon. I hope. If I throw my weekend on the fire and burn it ritually, I may be able to walk out the door on time ALL NEXT WEEK HOMG. Well, except for the one book that's running so far behind because everyone loves Drizzt (and I want to stab everyone for that, trust me.)

I really want macaroni and cheese, but if I could find somewhere to get it, I would be too tired to eat it, and I can't get to the only place I know of that serves late-night mac and cheese before they close. I'm thinking about going to 13 Coins for a Philly, but I'll probably just wind up in the drive through at Jack In The Box. But there's something about hot food when you're fucking tired as hell because you've been doing this crazy crazy crazy schedule for weeks now, and I'm certainly not going to be able to provide myself with hot food from scratch. And going home and eating half a loaf of hominy bread is Frowned Upon. By the time I finished five slices of challah last night I was sort of sick of bread.

I've decided that I really like Turkish rap because I can't understand what they're saying. Ceza is awesome, and I love them, because I can just be into the beat, and it doesn't matter if they're talking about, like, Turkish nationalism or about fucking up bitches, I can't understand it. It's pretty cool. Not to say that they're not talented, they are, but most rap is really just me wanting to scream "SHUT THE FUCK UP, COCKFACE."

Not so much a problem with rap in a language I don't speak. I can totally just concentrate on the music.

Also, Rough Guide finally put out an album I don't like. The Rough Guide to Bhangra Dance or whatever the fuck it is, I love Bhangra because I'm like that, but this is like...well, there's a few tracks on there that are like Panjabi MC and Anakhi and Balbir Bittu and that's AWESOME, but there are a few tracks where I'm seriously going "Wait, why am I listening to Missy Elliott? Wait, what? What just happened here?" Or, you know, because I certainly don't, someone who looks a lot less like they'd like to make you eat your own head than Missy Elliott and Lady Sovereign, but who has that singing-hip-hop vibe going on, and they're singing in ENGLISH, and it's like...okay, sure, this is Bhangra, but I promise: when I buy a Bhangra album, I'm buying it rock out to Bhangra, not to listen to hip hop. When I want that, I buy hip hop albums.

But considering that I have like fifteen Rough Guides, I suppose one out of fifteen ain't bad. I've never even had ONE Putumayo that I've liked.

I'm really tired and hallucinating a little. It's awesome. Whee!

ETA: What I find hilarious: people who think they have a sense of humour taking a joke WAY too seriously. Or, you know, Yahoo Answers. SAME THING!

So, I got half a layout before I found out that the problem wasn't with LJ, it was with Safari.

Yey.

Safari has now been reloaded into a version that has scrollbars (this is my wtf face) and I still have half a layout (at this point, it's not worth going back to the old one, since that background disappeared when GJ went down like a two dollar whore, though this one needs one graphical tweak and a bunch of textual tweaks and also, oh, I don't know, a new header entirely, thx.

And then I went and looked at the new Word. And then I cried. Is it really too early for gin?

ETA: Oh, yeah, I also need a code compiler because I'm really curious - the layout I'm using had such interesting commands as "transpeareant" and "visiable", so obviously the layout itself wasn't affected, so I'm curious to know, you know, what those actually were intended to do, and what replaced them.

WTTE:
1) sidebar in comment view
2) comment view itself is evil
3) text colour
4) font omg
5) splitters
6) tag box
7) free text box credit for layout and inspiration
8) recover old layout code in style
9) blue shit
10) friends title
11) userinfo boxes background & display side
12) link text transform (or elim code)
13) long form date
14) subject line hyphen
15) shift usericon&info to right er, never mind
16) move header
17) reorder menu bar
18) rename elements in menu bar?
19) define width for RSS feeds and photos

What's sad is that by the time I get done with this I'm really going to want to keep it forever, but I don't like the layout all that much. Oddly, I'm not very into fannish layouts, at least not for me. So, of course, that's why I MAKE THEM. But I have an awesome layout of a burning cliff that I'm working on.

I think I am dead of total ennui. Something needs to happen or I'll probably just slit my wrists to see if that's different.

Also - my phone is the tool of the devil, and I think that two people I texted last week don't have text, so if you're trying to get hold of me, that's why I haven't called you back. I will call back when my phone is NOT EVIL. Hopefully, I will just be able to buy a goddamn NEW phone tomorrow rather than dealing with a warranty...no, wait, this is actually interesting. Or different, at least. I can't guarantee interesting.

Step 1. My phone turns into an evil bitch whore cockbiting fucktard and decides that it can't find the network on occasion, generally when I am in the middle of a phone call.
Step 2. People at the store I bought the phone tell me that I need to talk to warranty - if the problem persists.
Step 3. The problem goes away. Problem solved.
Step 4. The problem returns. Slightly worse. No one wants to talk to me as I cannot guarantee that my phone will stay connected. My phone has no other reason to exist, so I'm not sure why it wants to fail at its one task, but there you go.
Step 6. My phone adds "not finding the network for up to ten minutes at a time after a call has dropped" to its list of favourite activities EVAR.
Step 7. I go on vacation to the centre of the universe. The centre of the universe has a warranty centre.
Step 8. The centre of the universe tells me they can do nothing about this and I need to CALL THE WARRANTY CENTER (apparently located in Bumfuck, Arkansas, because it's not in New York).
Step 9. I say sod it all and rock out with my...sock? hawk? I lack a cock, so it wasn't that. My SOMETHING out. Phone continues to TOTALLY NOT FUCKING WORK, AND, in fact, FAILS in the middle of a call to the person who GOT ME INTO THE CONCERT IN THE FIRST PLACE. Way to make me look like an asshat, you piece of shit.
Step 10. My mother believes I have been eaten by wolves due to inability to contact me. I point out it was more likely to be the Jersey Devil.
Step 11. I return home. I refuse to call the Warranty Centre, with, apparently, the thought that ignoring the problem will make it go away. I don't know why, because that didn't work when I was six, but at least it's EASIER.
Step 12. My phone adds "randomly shutting off, oh wait, you pushed that button again so I'll COME BACK ON AND THEN SHUT OFF." I swear to god I hear maniacal laughter coming from it.
Step 13. I call the Warranty Centre, who tell me ALL KINDS of evil things, including that if the scratches on the front of the phone from when I sort of dropped it on gravel and kind of stepped on it (like, I figured it out before I turned it into phone pate, but still) might have caused the malfunction, I will owe them $115 dollars for the phone they're sending me. They don't care that the scratches happened after the phone started fucking up, as if I could PROVE THIS ANYWAY.
Step 14. I am not stupid. They will charge me this amount for ANY REASON AT ALL BECAUSE CHRIST FORBID ANYONE FULFILL A WARRANTY OBLIGATION.
Step 15. New phone arrives! New phone is made of total evil! New phone hates me, and, I think, has different functions in different places! I beat phone to death and make it resemble old phone. I still hate old phone for not being like OLD phone, which was a different brand, and also for the manifold ways in which the designer of THIS phone was on crack.
Step 16. New phone is remanufactured, not actually NEW. This is important.
Step 17. Apparently this phone had a problem with reception. How do I know this? Because I ONLY have reception when standing in the middle of, like, a field of cell phone towers.
Step 18. I decide this is UNACCEPTABLE.
Step 19. I decide further that if I'm paying for a fucking phone - again, my cynicism, but HONESTLY, who has EVER had a phone returned under warranty that they did NOT pay for - I'm going to be able to get a cheaper phone than a piece of shit remanufactured Samsung assbiscuit that costs $115.00. SUPPOSEDLY.
Step 20. I continue to get phone calls that I have no wish to return because I don't like conversations that mostly consist of "Can you hear me? Can you hear me?" My phone sulks because, FOR SOME STRANGE REASON, I do not love it as much as I love whiskey. Maybe if it acted like a phone, we could totally talk.
Step 21. I run out of time to do ANYTHING, let alone get a new phone. I have until Monday to do SOMETHING with this piece of shit cockmonkey phone before I get charged $115.00
Step 22. I kill myself and refuse to deal with any of this because it's more than I need right now.
Step 23. I return from the dead and vanquish AT&T. I may even break my contract and go to TMobile so I can have a Sidekick, which I will use, essentially, as a) a phone and b) a large paperweight, but OMG COVET. It helps that AT&T doesn't see a problem with illegal government wiretapping, which I did not know about until about three days after I reupped my contract with them.
Step 24. I nominate myself Darth Vader Of The Day for this win.

Also, I totally voted for AN INSANE PERSON (like, really) yesterday, but I felt he was the better candidate, so I hope he's elected.

I really fucking hate snow.

Now I'm randomly crying at work.

Weird.

No, wait, my mistake. Codesmith and Melpamene both live.