channonyarrow: (do evil burning gluing things)
( Sep. 22nd, 2009 01:50 pm)
And so the great cycle has turned again; I have the sudden, urgent need to have a Mat Devine gracing my living room. This is based on the latest blog of his, which I find even more fabulous than usual. I'm sorry, Gerard, Bill, Gabe - I'm going to have to forsake you all. Don't forget not to write.

I'll keep him next to the shamrock plant, by the little bookcase. I think he'd look fab there. He can even wrap himself in my silk afghan.

In other news, I'm debating getting my other wrist tattooed because, well, I want another tattoo, I can probably do it for about $150, and I kind of really want to post to [livejournal.com profile] literarytattoos to point out that I am not an English major, and I do not read such high-flying literary works as produced by authors such as Toni Morrison, F. Scott Fitzgerald, or William Faulkner and think "God, I need a tattoo of THAT," nor do I think that I need to demonstrate my logophilia by going absolutely bugfuck nuts with tattoos of really ludicrous things that are going to look like ass in five years.

Literary Tattoos: the latest "female bisexual college student".

But I tell you what - as soon as I have a job again, my dragon tattoo (which I have FINALLY decided should go on my upper back in all its glory) and the mice tattoos are happening. I have a list of things I get to buy when I have truly disposable income again, and they're on it. I probably would be smart to start pricing for going over all my other ones, all of which could use some cleanup and support now that I'm older.

It's sort of freaky to realise that I've had the tattoo on my back for TWELVE YEARS. HOW? But from everything I hear about it, it could use some touchup. If that's even entirely possible; apparently it's done some stretching. Alas, when I was twenty, I thought I would remain the same size essentially forever, unless I got pregnant.

I'm working on a wikidot theme (by working on it I mean I've now cleaned the bedroom and just need to make the bed and vacuum, and cleaned the kitchen except for cleaning up the sewing table, sweeping and taking out the recycling, and made coffee, and then pizza) and I am NOT working on a statistical analysis of what everyone who did that meme in my last post says in theirs, but rest assured that I find it absolutely fascinating and unsurprising that there is so much similarity between responses, and not least of all because there's no statistical outliers there - every person who's done that is friends with me (obviously) and also with [livejournal.com profile] apiphile so there's a lot of common personality there, but still. It's pretty interesting to me, in a casual-research-method sort of way, to see how similar we all are, and to see what I think of as the elegance of the answers.

ALSO. [livejournal.com profile] apiphile is recommending that everyone read Watching The English, which I intend to pick up since it's at Borders and I have a $5.00 credit at Borders and because the subject sounds fascinating. I recommend, in some sort of weird internet-reciprocal book exchange, The Cheating Culture, which, as I said on Twitter, is punching me in my relationship to America exactly as Three Cups Of Tea did. After the long drudge that was Nature's Metropolis and the success of Little House In The Big Woods, which I actually read because it's an extant biography of a time period and place that I'm deeply interested in currently, I was starting to fear that I actually had no more ability to read, but The Cheating Culture is making me think that this is an untrue statement.

Reminds me: I need to go poke Square 1 Books about whether they can get The Great Peshtigo Fire in or not, and decide whether I want to replace Under A Burning Sky, because all I will do is reread it and continue to be absolutely horrified at the fact that when human beings inhale superheated air, their vocal chords squeal from the contraction of the muscles as they cook. Evidently, it sounds somewhat like rubber bands. Right now, "late-nineteenth-century fire disasters in the upper Midwest" are like an immediate literaturegasm for me, evidently. "Nineteenth-century upper Midwest" is a little like porn, I guess - it'll get you there, but not without some help.

Apparently, I feel better today. I would like to quit losing bits of Italian sausage down my cleavage, though.
channonyarrow: (tuesday in the woods vicky-t // apiphile)
( Jul. 24th, 2009 04:40 pm)
The other day, after an involved discussion of whether I was talking about Wild Palms, and why wasn't that a David Lynch flick, and spending a lot of time on Netflix going "Wow, this is not the movie I thought it was; all I remember is the hippo in the bathtub and the karaoke scene, and Angie Dickenson being terrifying ... where did all this come from?" that segued naturally into a discussion of David Lynch as a whole, I found myself looking at a website that reveals top movie twist endings, to find out just what the fuck happened in Mulholland Drive. Or possibly Mulholland Falls. Whichever one David Lynch did.

The explanation didn't make sense either. I guess they were only two people? Or maybe they were all four only one person?

Some of the theoretically-great movies I find overrated (or in some cases actively hate): Taxi Driver, Wild Palms, Brazil, Pulp Fiction, and anything made by Woody Allen.

On the other hand, no one understands my pain about Twist, or 37 Uses For A Dead Sheep, or C.R.A.Z.Y., or Son of A Lion, or Breathless (srsly, BEST. MOVIE. EVER.), so I will feel free to reside in my tower of video superiority and mock people who think "complicated plot that makes no sense (or Woody Allen, or time-travelling movie tropes)" make really good movies, rather than the obvious, which is that movies in a foreign language that have totally un-understandable symbology and non-obvious endings are better movies. Even though one of the movies on that list was in English.

Do not poke me with a stick about this, either, because if you do, I will spend the next two days of your life discoursing on the comparative thematic similarities between The Secret of the Grain, Tengri: Blue Heavens, and Free Floating, with occasional exegeses on Snijeg and Frozen River, and forty minutes on fuck Plan 9 From Outer Space, To Get To Heaven First You Have To Die is the worst movie ever made.

No one wants this, least of all you. And by that, I mean, I would relish the opportunity, but trust me, you don't want to spend 48 hours in my company, with your hands tied to the back of the chair and toothpicks holding your eyes open, watching me stride up and down in my Napoleon uniform, bitching about movies no one's ever heard of. I, of course, would love this.

Unrelatedly, I have the desire to go buy something, but I'm not sure what that something should be. I can't decide between tech-toys, clothes, music, toys-toys, or something else. Though I did buy three books yesterday, so that urge is kind of muted right now. I don't know, I feel like I should be able to think of SOMETHING.
channonyarrow: (rahm chief of awesome // lupus_ftw)
( Mar. 31st, 2009 08:24 am)
I have found:

- a place that sells many, many, many colours and textures of synthetic and human hair.
- another place that sells extension clips.
- a tutorial on wefting loose hair.
- a tutorial on attaching loose hair to extension clips.
- a (third) tutorial on putting extensions in well.
- a page of many, many tutorials on many, many styles of extensions and hairpieces.

BWAHAHAHAHA.
Tags:
channonyarrow: (gabe chibi fangs up)
( Mar. 30th, 2009 10:45 pm)
AHAHAHAHAHAHA, I JUST ORDERED LIKE SEVEN BOOKS FROM AMAZON AND TWO FROM HALF.COM AND I WILL BE GETTING PACKAGES FOREVER I AM SO EXCITED BECAUSE I AM GETTING PACKAGES! FULL OF BOOKS! WIN!

Although, yes, it is kind of hard to get excited about the fact that the books I ordered from half are for school and, as such, have titles like "Starting Out With Visual Basic 2008 with CD" and "New Perspectives On Microsoft Access 2007".

BUT THE ONES I ORDERED FROM AMAZON ARE AWESOME AND AMAZING AND ARE SUPER FUCKING COOL. YOU WISH YOU WERE AS COOL AS THESE BOOKS.

Your mom does too, and dude, that's just sad. Make your mom happy! Why else were you put on this earth?
Tags:
channonyarrow: (god is pretend // melpamene)
( Mar. 30th, 2009 11:30 am)
Sometimes, pride really does goeth before a fall, if by "pride" you mean "elation at getting another copyedit and therefore the money to close out the Buy A PC Laptop So You Can Do Back-End Programming At Home Fuckhead" and you qualify fall with "into the edge of the bathtub, shin first."

OW OW OW THERE IS A GODDAMN DENT IN MY LEG AND IT HURTS WAY MORE THAN MORTAL MAN IS MEANT TO EVER FEEL BUT AT LEAST I CAN BEAR WEIGHT ON MY LEG AGAIN.

Note to self: Not making bets with god was your BEST PLAN EVER. GO BACK TO THAT.
channonyarrow: (i'm a fucking princess // __twelvenights)
( Jan. 28th, 2009 09:44 pm)
As an American, I believe firmly that if I am prepared to hand over good money for something, that thing should be available.

This does not seem like a difficult concept. You have something I want, I have money, we trade these things, and everyone goes home happy. I am not left trying to figure out who I have to kill to get what I want, and I certainly am not left lurking in dark alleys while some skeezy dude in a trench coat, who gets an oil change every month where the rest of us get haircuts, slimes up to me and says "Pst, lady, you wanna buy some clock parts? They're good, top quality. Swiss."

No. I am an American, for Christ's sake, and along with:
a) the most embarrassing tourists in the free world
b) the most embarrassing ex-president in the world, period
c) a tendency to bomb the shit out of places that did nothing to us other than be the home of lots of little brown people (slanty eyes optional)
d) meals and standard serving sizes so large that most people would rather hollow out a loaf of bread and use it for a house
I have the right to buy anything I want. Heroin, sex, as-seen-on-tv ways around the phone company, these things are child's play to buy in America. Politicians and police officers are only slightly more difficult, for god's sake.

I could probably buy a unicorn if I really fucking tried.

The right to buy may actually be in the Declaration of Independence, somewhere around life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

However. This is MY life we're talking about. And I have a variable-purpose Little Black Raincloud (It goes along with my Little Black Dress and my Not So Little Black Handbag That Conveniently Is Large Enough For An Assault Weapon Such As An H&K MP-5.) that, basically, shits on me when I want to buy things.

If you ever feel like figuring out that a) you are ahead of the trend curve, as ever, and b) that somehow, America has broken down, try to make an oversized clock. 1 craft and four lumber/hardware stores later (including, hilariously, recommendations to go to the ones I'd already been to, as well as commentary that Home Depot used to carry that - oh, and so did we, but not any more) I finally commissioned someone to cut a 24" round of mahogany plywood, at far more cost than I would have liked. Now I have to find hands for the damn thing.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NO ONE HAS TWELVE INCH CLOCK HANDS. I MIGHT AS WELL SHOP FOR AN ELECTRIFIED WERE-CAMEL.

And yet, here I stand, cash in hand and need for instant gratification great - and no one has what I want. I should have bought a Target oversized clock and painted the dial, frankly. My artistic vision, it will not settle for compromise. Frankly, it's like someone cancelled Christmas and murdered the pony I was going to get. And, probably, left the liver in my bathtub, sort of as a cheery little "How ya doin'?" sort of gesture.

Also, the next person who tells me all about how they made some fantastic thing - let's say a ballgown - for fifty cents in thread because they happened to have 12 yards of perfect satin in the closet and then everything just fell into place from the stash, I will stab that person in the head. When I set out to make something, if it is not ridiculously expensive, time-consuming, and does not involve figuring out at least three workarounds and/or major sizing issues on the fly, I am doing it wrong. And if you have satin in the closet already? IT'S NOT FUCKING FREE. YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO IGNORE THAT YOU PAID FOR IT BACK IN THE YEAR DOT, FUCK YOU. IN STASH =/= FREE, FUCKHEAD.

Unless, of course, you stole it. In which case, you're a badass crafter, and I'm not going to argue with you. Like, ever. You probably have a leather jacket, tastefully art-weared into a garment that declares, in rhinestones and, like, feathers, "HELL'S CRAFTERS" or something. And my mama raised me to be smarter than to fuck with anyone that crazy.
channonyarrow: (walk and emote)
( Jan. 22nd, 2009 11:49 am)
I am shoe shopping again.

Oracle says:



Y/N/MFY?
channonyarrow: (god and satan's book of buttsecks)
( Dec. 30th, 2008 11:42 am)
Yeah, because what I REALLY need is a pair of silver knee-high platform boots that will make me six foot nine.

Obviously, I bid on them. Apparently, 2009 will be the year of trying to make people think I REALLY AM a drag queen.

Also: things I have learned in the last five minutes. If I ever need a place to spend $1200 on ugly-ass Gucci shoes (seriously, fringe went out in the eighties, and I may have legwarmers and dayglo clothing, but leather fringe I am not bringing back!) eBay can help me. If I ever have a need for stiletto heels that have a sheathe for a whip built in, eBay can help me. If I ever need a stiletto heel of any kind, such as murder or looking like a hooker, eBay would like to be my special friend. Stilettos only look awesome on those who can walk in them, and that number does not include me in it.

If I ever need any sort of sexy-Christmas-boot, eBay wants to give me a call.

I totally know where Posh buys her shoes. SERIOUSLY.
channonyarrow: (think different // kimonthejourney)
( Dec. 11th, 2008 07:41 pm)
I am listening to A Shoggoth On The Roof. You are not.

I feel sorry for you, frankly.
channonyarrow: (booze and boywhores // trollprincess)
( Nov. 13th, 2008 12:21 am)
Here's what I hate:

Went out with [livejournal.com profile] verlaine tonight and had a fine old time (there may have been drunk emailing) and had a plethora of drinks, all of them of the "veeeeery heavy double" variety. On a basically empty stomach.

Actions: would indicate state of inebriation has been achieved.

Feelings: would indicate exactly the opposite. I feel exactly like I normally do, except with a penchant for flirting, greasy food, expansive gestures, the word "fuck" inserted into speech every other word (normally, it's every third) and a slight headache.

I AM ANNOYED. I WANTED TO BE DRUNK. INSTEAD, I AM PARTIALLY SOBER AND PARTIALLY PISSED OFF.

Why is my lightweightness betraying me NOW?

Oh, AND: I left my resume on the table (long story) and we moved to a different table with a group of expats who kindly did not kill me for being not British at all, and this led directly to me having a conversation with someone who, probably, is worse off than me, given that he worked for Washington Mutual. He was nice and all, but now I feel like I should be hiding behind a metal wall, holding a gun, because he KNOWS MY ADDRESS NOW. AND MY NAME. AND MY PHONE NUMBER.

If I disappear suddenly, look among the ranks of former Wamu employees.

Also: I hate Blur. For the record.


EDIT:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BEST LINE EVER.

I just slit my wrists and had sex with a vampire who broke my heart, he thinks. I am so scene.
channonyarrow: (mcr gleeful)
( Jun. 20th, 2008 12:38 pm)
I just bought a book older than my grandparents.

*snugs book*

Oh 1902 edition of Baedeker's Guide to London and Its Environs, how I love you.
channonyarrow: (flip the bird // decimatedreams)
( Feb. 22nd, 2008 11:51 am)
You know what?

I know what, anyway.

If the [livejournal.com profile] bandomsecrets post that I thought was about me was, in fact, about me, then either the person I thought did it didn't actually do it (which opens the field, whee!) or else that person has a big, hefty serving of hypocrisy coming to them.

I have to quit shopping in the men's department at Target, but if I had done that, I would not now have an Autobots tshirt, so there's always a reason not to. I also finally cracked and bought a coffee maker (we'll see if I can learn to make coffee now) and a new toaster, which is shiny steel red and is the first appliance ever to make me want to name it, simply because, well, it is shiny red steel.

I have been named an emergency contact in case anything weird, unusual, or embarrassing happens to a friend's housesitting sister. Apparently, I can't solve flooded basements, but I kick ass when ninjas show up in your home. Though apparently, if it's ninjas, I'm supposed to bring someone else with me, who is also quite competent at ninja-butt-kicking. The qualification was that my friend felt that if something really weird happened, I would be able to have an axe in hand and be there within fifteen minutes. I feel like this is an achievement that I would like immortalised on a medal, because it makes me giggle, and then I could wear that medal proudly.

"Armed and Ready To Fight Off The Weird", or something.

Beyond that? Weekend off, people. Halle-fucking-lujah.
channonyarrow: (ello worm happy // 100x100)
( Jan. 14th, 2008 01:19 pm)
Every so often I temporarily go insane and think that what I need to make my life complete is dreadlocks! Like, cyber dreads or fake dreads or something (because I am not going to grow my hair out that long and destroy it, thx) and then I go look at websites and it usually takes a couple weeks before sanity returns.

I don't know why I do this. If you know, tell me. It doesn't make a lot of sense.

It would still be completely awesome, though.
channonyarrow: (coffee milk heroin bread cat food)
( Dec. 25th, 2007 01:53 pm)
Ah, Christmas, a time of confusion and mixed messages in my house.

Here's one: I don't like the fact that people work on Christmas...so I just went out and spent seventy bucks on groceries and five lattes (two stops). Go me!

I has an atlas now. It is le awesome.

ETA: And apparently *I* am working on Christmas. Christ on a fucking cracker, I am never, ever, ever giving out an email address to an author ever again, no matter how close to goddamn deadline they are.

My resolution for 2008: Be less of a micromanager.
channonyarrow: (hobbit please // m15m)
( Oct. 11th, 2007 03:16 pm)
OH MY GOD YOUR SOLE REASON THAT I SHOULD BUY THAT PRODUCT IS THAT IT'S SOLD A LOT? WELL SIGN ME RIGHT UP! I WANT TO LOOK LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!

Go DIE.
channonyarrow: (richard starts shit // angevin2)
( May. 19th, 2007 06:33 pm)
There is too much stupid in the world, and I have just come across the last bit of it.

My brain will now explode.

Goodbye, world. I didn't expect the stupid to kill me.

Seriously, how hard is it to figure out that "GJ" = "greatestjournal"? JESUS FUCK GOOGLE CAN PROBABLY GIVE YOU THIS INFORMATION!

Also, the purple has apparently washed out of my hair in two days, leaving behind blue, aquamarine, and green, and the aqua was never put in my hair in the first place.
I tried to delete my journal earlier but it turned out there was a runtime error on the account status page, so I couldn't. I am not sure whether to laugh or cry.

I need to clean my flat this weekend and get caught up on stuff so that I can quit feeling so damn depressed - getting these books off my desk (guess what? I'm on about hour forty five this week, and I have several to go!) will help with that.

I feel bad that I haven't posted songs of the day but at the same time I haven't thought of any either because I'm too busy proofing.

I think I might try to get a pair of boots today and finally get rid of my old Docs that don't quite fit. It depends - I should totally save that money to pay for my dad's birthday present (a gun) but...I WANT the boots and I've been good about impulse buys lately.

Except for the coat I bought at Wilson's last weekend, but in my defence it was 75% off.

ETA: Hmm. )
You know, it's just kind of distressing when you realise that you need another bookcase.

The process goes something like this:

It's good, because books are good. They are the staff of life, beyond even food.

It's bad because, well, frankly, you thought two eight foot and one four foot bookcase were enough.

Then you realise that a fair few of your books are in storage or in the UK.

You go to IKEA and buy another bookcase.
.

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