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So I have this REALLY stupid plan that I should just give it all up and go to Portland for the Cobra Starship show, since Seattle is All Sold Out, and I don't trust that I can get either rush tickets or scalp a ticket, but that means that I probably have to leave in, oh, five hours or so. The show's at seven, I can be there in 2 hours or so, and I don't want to see the opening acts.
OH IRONY. If I miss them here AND Portland? My next chance to see them is Sunday night, in BOISE. I still don't want to go to Boise. Boise is still 1000 miles, round trip. Well, technically, eight hundred and some, but it will involve LOTS of snow, as happens when you have to cross two mountain ranges to get there, one of which scares the bejesus out of me. 6% grades SUCK. Plus hairpin turns? EVEN MORE SUCK. Bonus helping of snow? REALLY REALLY A LOT OF SUCK. And that's leaving out the, you know, 300 other miles of the trip.
So. I WANT to go to Portland. However, I do not want to get a hotel room in Portland (I'm not convinced Portland has hotels) and I probably will be in absolutely no fucking shape at all to drive back to Seattle tonight if I do what I WANT to do and hang out for hours waiting to talk to CS.
I want something in my life to have a guarantee on it. I want that guarantee to not be things like "you are getting older and will die" or "your car will make a scary noise at ass o'clock in the parking lot of a grocery store in the hood" or "you will meet a tall, dark stranger, who will kill you" or even "one of your neighbours is a professional singer who thinks it is OKAY to sing Led Zeppelin (worst. band. ever.) for fun".
In short, I want that guarantee to be "Do nothing. Stay home. You have asked for Cobra Starship tickets for Saturday, in Seattle, and you will receive them. Go forth and sin a lot, because you deserve a break today."
Which, of course I deserve a break. Which is why I'm leaving in a few minutes to go have sex with your wife. (Bad joke is bad. It is also from Eat, Pray, Love.)
Oh, and here's a fun fact: my mom has been diagnosed with scleraderma, and my dad with Type II diabetes. MY LIFE, IT IS AWESOME, AS ARE MY GENES. Have I mentioned that I only get WEIRD diseases? Even though the familial link on both diseases are relatively minor, I'm GOING TO HAVE THEM, I CAN FEEL IT.
Ironic edit contains more irony: Have I mentioned that it is COMPLETELY WEIRD for CS's tour to go like this: Salt Lake City, Vancouver BC, Portland, Seattle, Boise? For reference, Seattle is BETWEEN Portland and Vancouver. So, normally, where I could count on getting to either the Vancouver or Portland show if I really fucked up and missed the Seattle show, I CAN'T DO THAT HERE.
*frustration*
If you're getting a sense of why I'm so certain I can't possibly get tickets to the Seattle show, you are probably correct: the universe is laughing at me. If I miss PDX and SEA, I have to go to Boise, or call it a day and wait for the next tour. *stabbity*
OH IRONY. If I miss them here AND Portland? My next chance to see them is Sunday night, in BOISE. I still don't want to go to Boise. Boise is still 1000 miles, round trip. Well, technically, eight hundred and some, but it will involve LOTS of snow, as happens when you have to cross two mountain ranges to get there, one of which scares the bejesus out of me. 6% grades SUCK. Plus hairpin turns? EVEN MORE SUCK. Bonus helping of snow? REALLY REALLY A LOT OF SUCK. And that's leaving out the, you know, 300 other miles of the trip.
So. I WANT to go to Portland. However, I do not want to get a hotel room in Portland (I'm not convinced Portland has hotels) and I probably will be in absolutely no fucking shape at all to drive back to Seattle tonight if I do what I WANT to do and hang out for hours waiting to talk to CS.
I want something in my life to have a guarantee on it. I want that guarantee to not be things like "you are getting older and will die" or "your car will make a scary noise at ass o'clock in the parking lot of a grocery store in the hood" or "you will meet a tall, dark stranger, who will kill you" or even "one of your neighbours is a professional singer who thinks it is OKAY to sing Led Zeppelin (worst. band. ever.) for fun".
In short, I want that guarantee to be "Do nothing. Stay home. You have asked for Cobra Starship tickets for Saturday, in Seattle, and you will receive them. Go forth and sin a lot, because you deserve a break today."
Which, of course I deserve a break. Which is why I'm leaving in a few minutes to go have sex with your wife. (Bad joke is bad. It is also from Eat, Pray, Love.)
Oh, and here's a fun fact: my mom has been diagnosed with scleraderma, and my dad with Type II diabetes. MY LIFE, IT IS AWESOME, AS ARE MY GENES. Have I mentioned that I only get WEIRD diseases? Even though the familial link on both diseases are relatively minor, I'm GOING TO HAVE THEM, I CAN FEEL IT.
Ironic edit contains more irony: Have I mentioned that it is COMPLETELY WEIRD for CS's tour to go like this: Salt Lake City, Vancouver BC, Portland, Seattle, Boise? For reference, Seattle is BETWEEN Portland and Vancouver. So, normally, where I could count on getting to either the Vancouver or Portland show if I really fucked up and missed the Seattle show, I CAN'T DO THAT HERE.
*frustration*
If you're getting a sense of why I'm so certain I can't possibly get tickets to the Seattle show, you are probably correct: the universe is laughing at me. If I miss PDX and SEA, I have to go to Boise, or call it a day and wait for the next tour. *stabbity*
