channonyarrow

Okay, yes, I am exactly the sort of shallow person who curses on Twitter solely to raise my rating on Cursebird, because I like having a cursebird rating. However, I am sticking by the word of the day, announced via that platform yesterday, as being "fuckweasel".

Use it in a sentence with great joy!

Other news: I have post-scarcity disorder, which I am making up right now to indicate a state in which one has too many options, no overwhelming desire for any of them, and an equal rating on urgency. I have the feeling that a gin and tonic will win over editing, outlining/writing, cleaning, applying, and coding, frankly.

Subsidiary needs, however, suggest that cleaning should get a modifier to its base rating, given that I a) have no underwear I like and no tights, and b) no spoons, and by that I don't mean no spoons in the degenerative-disease sense. It's very hard to eat ice cream with a fork, though less hard when the ice cream in question is Ben & Jerry's. Using an iced-tea spoon is right the fuck out.

Parenthetically, I evidently have scarcity disorder in my liquor cabinet, if the fact that I need to get more vodka and gin is any indication. Probably better off buying Coke, as nothing else is gonna shift that Bacardi.

I'm going to go for working on the CSS and working on the WP application first, I think, but I could be swayed from that by something shiny, or indeed not particularly shiny at all, as evidenced by the fact that since 7:30 I've been reading Acts Of Gord, which hasn't been updated since like 2002.

I hope everyone else's day is going well. Remember to use "fuckweasel" in a sentence.

For eight days you have to post something that made you happy that day.

Short, to the point, and with no shmoop.

1) beachan posted new reclists that include awesome fics I have not before seen. Given that my current OTP is disturbing directly opposed to most of bandom's interests, this is no small feat, and I am filled with joy even though they are not OTP-specific lists.

2) The snow melted some today. Unfortunately, it's now frozen solid, but it's quite possible there is ground there. Underneath the fucking FOOT of accumulated snow. Bad news: more snow tomorrow. THE WORLD WILL END IN A WALL OF WHITE.

3) I have a pint glass fuuuuuulllll of gin and tonic. Or it used to be. Not so much any more. Also, someday I need to get real barware, because even I know that drinking gin and tonic in a pint glass is nuts, especially when you can tell that you have about half a pint of gin in there. Possibly because you can tell this. Plus side: once you add the tonic, no one can tell what you are drinking. Down side: I once had two of these drinks, couldn't walk straight, and drove home anyway because the person whose house I was at thought that the second one had been water. I am such a genius when drunk. SO. SMRT.

4) I acted Like A Grownup today and made arrangements to roll my 401K over to an IRA. I even considered that at some point I need to assume that America will still be in one piece when I reach seventy and take a personal finance course. OH GOD I AM OLD. This is why I am drinking, but then again, drinking gin and tonic isn't exactly the same as drinking Aftershock or Sex On The Beach: drinking gin just reinforces the idea that you are not young. Fuuuuuck, I need to have a Malibu and Coke.

5) I considered my tag list and found it Good, but then I realised that I want the tag "the last kmart in mordor" or possibly "the last kmart before mordor" and I have no idea what that tag would mean. Perhaps it might be for when people, such as myself, do what the cool kids call "staying classy"? The line, though, amuses me. Goal: make tag list far more fannish; stop with Simpsons references.

6) Oh, this was awesome! So the news is running segments on people bitching about how SDOT isn't plowing residential streets because (hey, get this!) SDOT has decided that the 1500 miles of primary/secondary roads they have to deal with are kind of more important because that's where more traffic will be, and the news, being the lovely people they are, are interviewing Concerned Citizens who think that it is a gosh-darned cocksmoking shame that their streets aren't plowed. So I went to SDOT's page and used their "contact us!" form to say thank you for the work they're doing, and I got a reply back that was a) written by a real person; b) very enthusiastic that I was saying thank you; c) was going to not just one but two agencies working on keeping our roads as clear as they have done. It was super awesome, and it delighted me even more than the results on my other thank you letters have done. Bottom line: thank people doing hard work, because they love you right back.

I feel all warm and fuzzy. And I even did before I started drinking.


ETA: Something that completely mystifies me: sideburns. Seriously. What the fuck is that about?

Here's what I hate:

Went out with verlaine tonight and had a fine old time (there may have been drunk emailing) and had a plethora of drinks, all of them of the "veeeeery heavy double" variety. On a basically empty stomach.

Actions: would indicate state of inebriation has been achieved.

Feelings: would indicate exactly the opposite. I feel exactly like I normally do, except with a penchant for flirting, greasy food, expansive gestures, the word "fuck" inserted into speech every other word (normally, it's every third) and a slight headache.

I AM ANNOYED. I WANTED TO BE DRUNK. INSTEAD, I AM PARTIALLY SOBER AND PARTIALLY PISSED OFF.

Why is my lightweightness betraying me NOW?

Oh, AND: I left my resume on the table (long story) and we moved to a different table with a group of expats who kindly did not kill me for being not British at all, and this led directly to me having a conversation with someone who, probably, is worse off than me, given that he worked for Washington Mutual. He was nice and all, but now I feel like I should be hiding behind a metal wall, holding a gun, because he KNOWS MY ADDRESS NOW. AND MY NAME. AND MY PHONE NUMBER.

If I disappear suddenly, look among the ranks of former Wamu employees.

Also: I hate Blur. For the record.


EDIT:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BEST LINE EVER.

I just slit my wrists and had sex with a vampire who broke my heart, he thinks. I am so scene.

PSA: Do not drink gin and tonics in very large glasses. Do not mix equal parts gin and tonic. Do not lather, rinse, and repeat.


ETA: "< !-- LiveJournal ExpressLane: You received this page before 23 free users! -- >"

Really? There were twenty three free users clicking on view source on that layout at the SAME TIME? Holy shit, that's a popular layout!

Dear LJ:
You confuse the ever lovin' shit out of me. No, really.
No love,
Me

There is always a bright side.

I have just remembered this one.

This house has an extraordinarily well-stocked liquor cabinet.


EDIT: Filling the glass with 6 oz of 151 and pouring in just enough coke (oops, you shall not see the mistype on THAT ONE) to turn it all brown and draining it and then realising that you havne't eaten much today is the way to get drunk REALLY FAST.

EDIT TO THE EDIT, YO: Actually, the way to get drunk really fast is to slam a triple shot of Absinthe (obviously improperly prepared, we were banging our chests together and seeing who had the biggest balls (and I totally won, too, which rocked since I was the only one in that pissing contest who had no literal balls)) and then realise you can't breathe.

Seriously.

Try it some time. WIth the 80 proof stuff from Spain. You. Cannot. Breathe. When you slam that shit.

I went from zero to drunk in, literally, five seconds and one hell of a coughing spasm. Or there was the time we found out it seems possible to get slightly tiddly off of the smell of Benromach 20 year old Single Malt. I love Benromach nearly as much as I love Macallen Ten Year Old, and someday, I shall buy a bottle of Macallen 20 year old and have a very expelusive drinking party with, like, mylself and McArcus.

But bloody fucking hell, if it's going to run me 230.00 to buy a bottle of 21 year old Macallen, the LEAAT they could do would be to have a shop that sold it in WASHINGTON WE ARE TOO A REAL STATE FUCKERS.

Know i've seen it here, too but I can't remember where. Fuckers.

EDIT TO THE POWER OF CUBE: Off to get more drunk. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!