(no subject)

I need to invent a way of drawing little pictures that can be attached to an email so that "visually-oriented" people can GET WHAT I AM SAYING TO THEM, without assuming - because they apparently understand NOTHING I have told them = that I am actually emailing them to say something like, instead of "I'm having trouble with step fourteen, but steps 1-13 went perfectly," "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK I AM DOING AND MADE A MARTINI OF SLUGS INSTEAD OF MANAGING TO CHANGE THE ALTERNATOR."

DO NOT, in fact, start me at the invention of paper when I ask you whether you have a preferred format you want my homework header in. DO NOT assume that I have not worked out what "arms" are when discussing my stint as an international ping pong star.

Seriously, it MASSIVELY pisses me off when people only read the first sentence of an email and then take a great big guess to get the rest of it. I'll put up with it - rudely - from tech support once, but Jesus, really? This is how you function in the world, by patronising the hell out of people who know what they're doing and have asked you ONE specific question, which is not met by answering with an exegesis on the origin of string?

ALSO, it is FUCKING FREEZING. I may never get out of bed today, as long as I can solve the inevitable problem of my arms getting frostbite and dropping off.

No, I'm serious - IT IS THIRTY-NINE DEGREES OUT. WHY? I live in a temperate zone! This is not temperate! This is VILE.