I certainly have a family history of bipolar, and I have always assumed that I exhibit those symptoms, but frankly, after my experiences with my supposed ADD, I don't want to be diagnosed. I want to learn to cope with what I need to learn to cope with, not be given drugs to solve "problems". I'm very anti-medication, which does tend to mean that some things that I classically exhibit (for example, my brother and I are both hypoglycemic, though I'm much more borderline than he is) go undiagnosed because I don't care. Whether or not I am actually bipolar by some arbitrary standard doesn't matter to me - what matters is that I can get things done that I need to. I like the waves I live my life in, and it's never bad enough that I'm either suicidal or skipping work to go buy Mexico, so I can cope - partly this is my own stubbornness, I add, since I refuse to let anyone else win by dying before my time.
So make your own decision. Will a diagnosis change anything? Do you want medication to help you (and bear in mind that you WILL be prescribed SOMETHING, even if you're not bipolar) or is it a case of having a problem and needing to figure out a way to solve it? What if the diagnosis is negative - will whatever makes them think you're bipolar go away then? Can you learn to adapt to whatever is going on, or do you need help? If you do, that's one thing, but it sounds very much like you think you don't. And I know that my experience with Ritalin was such that I will NOT, under ANY circumstances EVER take another goddamn psychoactive drug - I didn't like who I became. So that's a big concern to me, for myself and others.
I'll never get another tattoo on my ankle, but not from the pain - from the fear that I'll kick the artist in the head. But I think that I'm going to get one with a couple coworkers - if the IRS gets my refund to me quick enough, I'll start ze beeg one.
Good luck on finals! I'll talk to you when you're done with those (I'd better damn well, anyway!)
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Date: 2007-05-02 05:56 pm (UTC)So make your own decision. Will a diagnosis change anything? Do you want medication to help you (and bear in mind that you WILL be prescribed SOMETHING, even if you're not bipolar) or is it a case of having a problem and needing to figure out a way to solve it? What if the diagnosis is negative - will whatever makes them think you're bipolar go away then? Can you learn to adapt to whatever is going on, or do you need help? If you do, that's one thing, but it sounds very much like you think you don't. And I know that my experience with Ritalin was such that I will NOT, under ANY circumstances EVER take another goddamn psychoactive drug - I didn't like who I became. So that's a big concern to me, for myself and others.
I'll never get another tattoo on my ankle, but not from the pain - from the fear that I'll kick the artist in the head. But I think that I'm going to get one with a couple coworkers - if the IRS gets my refund to me quick enough, I'll start ze beeg one.
Good luck on finals! I'll talk to you when you're done with those (I'd better damn well, anyway!)