Moose

Okay, so read the icon.

I've been saying that for years. Dude. I worked in Alaska! Moose are big, and protective, and they might look stupid, but they're mean. Particularly when the umptyjillionth idiot leaps out of their car onto the side of the road to take a picture of a moose. Or of its calf.

Moose charge people. A lot. In the winters, in the snow - they walk down the highway. They cause a lot of accidents. My brother and his wife used to get roadkill moose every year - the government has a program where if you're signed up for it (you have to be subsistence level income, I think) you get a call when a moose gets killed in the district you're signed up in, and then you go out there, butcher the moose, bring it back, and you've got all the moose you can eat for a LONG time.

Bear in mind that the moose you all think are hilariously cute because they have noses like penises and really ridiculous legs and because of Northern Exposure stand taller than me - at the shoulder - their shoulder - and weigh between 850 and 1500 pounds.

My opinion: Moose are a lot more dangerous than a damn bear. People expect bears to try to kill them.

And this is why I love My Chemical Romance. Because I don't know why, but I do know they were talking about moose. And maybe because they are famous people will listen to them.

On the other hand, people who don't listen to me are far more likely to die in moose-related accidents, and really, that can't be an entirely bad thing. I'm always in favour of social darwinism.

Baffled

So Cingular calls me and asks me if they can speak to "Mr or Mrs channonyarrow." Already going "bwuh?" I say that I'm speaking. (What the hell, I owe them a lot of money.) They ask me to verify my last four digits of my social for them.

Wait, what? YOU call ME and want ME to VERIFY THAT I AM WHO I AM?

Asking why causes the blowup doll on the other end of the line to explode.

I did not, and I should have, ask HER to verify who SHE is.

But apparently she can't tell me what the call's about - beyond that it's a thank you call - without knowing that I am who I say I am. Jesus fuck, I answered the phone and it's not like you're saying you want to discuss my account, right?

WHY DO I HAVE TO PROVE WHO I AM SO THAT YOU CAN THANK ME FOR SOMETHING THAT I DID NOT DO?

So I hung up on her.

I think I need a new service provider.