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Interactive preference sets creep me the fuck out. I only say this, of course, because every fucking time I go to YouTube, my "recommended" selections are a) boys in bands doing weird things; b) video of assassinations.
And it's never the right video.
I may have mentioned this before. I also may have started to mention it and abandoned it, so whatever. I remember the Sadat assassination, but I can't find the footage that matches up with my memory. And you cannot possibly convince me that, at a time when the head of Egypt was sittin' in a reviewing stand, chillin' out watching the troops parade, no one had a fucking camera on Sadat, only on the parade.
I know they did. I saw it. It's just not on YouTube, or the National Archives, or any of the other places I've looked.
I am highly peeved.
Also! This genuinely baffles me, it really does. You have a mission: you have decided, because God Said So, that you have to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia.
You work to achieve this.
In the end, it comes down to you driving a two-foot-long spike into the Prime Minister's side, having leaped onto the podium from side-stage and tackled him. You are immediately lost in the scrum of bodies as people converge on the stage.*
Things to remember while you plan this:
1) You have one shot. You will not get a second one because you will be in prison forever, and also, he will be better guarded.
2) Aside from only having one shot at the Prime Minister, you have to hit exactly the correct spot so that he'll be killed. If you spit him through the arm, that doesn't really matter.
3) Famous people can be tricky to get hold of.
So, you go for the aforementioned leap from side-stage. Or you set up shop in the Texas Book Depository. Or you trust that security at the Atlanta Olympics will be so lax that no one will notice you sitting in the stands, rifle on your lap, moments before the President of the USA and several other world leaders are due to arrive for the opening ceremony.
Why - seriously - does no one ever just sneak up on their house at night and kill their target in bed? Does that not make it assassination? Is it just that the whole point of assassination is that it's done in public, sort of a citizen-sanctioned version of a state execution? (I need to work on that, but there might be something worth keeping there.)
I mean, maybe it's that God Does Not Tell Me Things, but if I really, really, really wanted someone dead, I'd much rather try to infiltrate their home than shoot at them in a situation where I would have Secret Service agents coming out my ears seconds later. I do know that they're very well guarded, but there's also the possibility that they're not quite as alert, and other things good for the would-be assassin.
Then again, I've never been suicidal. Maybe it's the same thing. Assassination is the elimination of the possibility of your return; murder is the definite desire to come back alive.
* See also the assassination of Inejiro Asanuma.
EDIT: Okay, nope. I'm gonna have to break up this playlist. Do You Know What I'm Seeing makes me want to actually vomit. I am not even exaggerating. I hate this band so much.
ITunes deciding to "randomly" play Behind The Sea (also from the same playlist) next just cemented it. I AM STILL MYSELF IF I STILL HATE PANIC, THANK FUCK FOR SMALL FAVOURS, I WAS STARTING TO WORRY. I mean, I like The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Cover...
Wow.
My life is not usually that surreal.
That's....yeah, that's really fucking creepy, is what that is. I'm going to go away for a while.
And it's never the right video.
I may have mentioned this before. I also may have started to mention it and abandoned it, so whatever. I remember the Sadat assassination, but I can't find the footage that matches up with my memory. And you cannot possibly convince me that, at a time when the head of Egypt was sittin' in a reviewing stand, chillin' out watching the troops parade, no one had a fucking camera on Sadat, only on the parade.
I know they did. I saw it. It's just not on YouTube, or the National Archives, or any of the other places I've looked.
I am highly peeved.
Also! This genuinely baffles me, it really does. You have a mission: you have decided, because God Said So, that you have to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia.
You work to achieve this.
In the end, it comes down to you driving a two-foot-long spike into the Prime Minister's side, having leaped onto the podium from side-stage and tackled him. You are immediately lost in the scrum of bodies as people converge on the stage.*
Things to remember while you plan this:
1) You have one shot. You will not get a second one because you will be in prison forever, and also, he will be better guarded.
2) Aside from only having one shot at the Prime Minister, you have to hit exactly the correct spot so that he'll be killed. If you spit him through the arm, that doesn't really matter.
3) Famous people can be tricky to get hold of.
So, you go for the aforementioned leap from side-stage. Or you set up shop in the Texas Book Depository. Or you trust that security at the Atlanta Olympics will be so lax that no one will notice you sitting in the stands, rifle on your lap, moments before the President of the USA and several other world leaders are due to arrive for the opening ceremony.
Why - seriously - does no one ever just sneak up on their house at night and kill their target in bed? Does that not make it assassination? Is it just that the whole point of assassination is that it's done in public, sort of a citizen-sanctioned version of a state execution? (I need to work on that, but there might be something worth keeping there.)
I mean, maybe it's that God Does Not Tell Me Things, but if I really, really, really wanted someone dead, I'd much rather try to infiltrate their home than shoot at them in a situation where I would have Secret Service agents coming out my ears seconds later. I do know that they're very well guarded, but there's also the possibility that they're not quite as alert, and other things good for the would-be assassin.
Then again, I've never been suicidal. Maybe it's the same thing. Assassination is the elimination of the possibility of your return; murder is the definite desire to come back alive.
* See also the assassination of Inejiro Asanuma.
EDIT: Okay, nope. I'm gonna have to break up this playlist. Do You Know What I'm Seeing makes me want to actually vomit. I am not even exaggerating. I hate this band so much.
ITunes deciding to "randomly" play Behind The Sea (also from the same playlist) next just cemented it. I AM STILL MYSELF IF I STILL HATE PANIC, THANK FUCK FOR SMALL FAVOURS, I WAS STARTING TO WORRY. I mean, I like The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Cover...
Wow.
My life is not usually that surreal.
That's....yeah, that's really fucking creepy, is what that is. I'm going to go away for a while.
