(no subject)

I am not going to attempt 1209 miles one-way in my car. I am not going to shake this feeling of ennui and sameness by loading the car up with roadtrip supplies and driving out to Storm King Mountain. I am not going to get "I'll take my chances on truck stops and state lines" tattooed on my other wrist. I am not going to keep googling disaster sites. I am not going to believe that my life has passed me by. I am not going to do anything involving the phrase "Welcome to the 21st century, digital children." I am not going to drive to Oregon, Utah, Wyoming, Montana, British Columbia, Alaska, Minnesota, Illinois, or Colorado. I am not going to dye my hair green merely for the sake of change. I am not going to buy things to replace happiness.

I am not going to give in to this feeling.

I am going to prioritise so that I have more time to not listen to lists and deadlines.

I am going to stop feeling guilty.

I am going to be angry.

I am going to edit.

I am going to study.

I am going to win.

I will always win.