It's already more interesting than I like

[channonyarrow]

Dear light jumpers,

I have to say, it serves you right. Though I'm not sure how THREE of you tried to jump the same light, I think it's the only POSSIBLE explanation for THAT accident.

Snerkily,
Me


Dear everybody else on the West Valley Highway/405 interchange this morning,

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING? ARE YOU SO STUPID AS TO NOT REALISE THAT THAT ACCIDENT WE ALL HAD TO GO AROUND WAS CAUSED BY LIGHT JUMPING? I HOPE YOU ALL DIE.

No love,
Me


Dear trees that I park my car under,

IT IS OCTOBER. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, BLEEDING ALL OVER MY CAR? STOP! JUST BLOODY STOP! SAP IS FINE IN SPRING, BUT THIS IS OCTOBER! GET LIVES!

No love at ALL,
Me


Dear self,

Next time you go to the store, learn the difference between jam, jelly, and preserves. I feel sure this will save time in the future.

Me

ETA: Wait, no, sap's never fine. I just expect it in the spring. But it makes my car sticky!

Comments

[drui-en.livejournal.com]

The preserved fruit of doom is vexing you?

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Yes! It pretended to be jam in the jar and then turned into, I swear to god, whole cherries on my bread!

Stupid preserves.

[florahart]

Jelly: made from juice thickened with gelatin.

Jam: Chunks, sometimes biggish chunks, of fruit.

Preserves: pretty similar to jam but often even chunkier.

Mnemonic: Jelly= just gel stuff. Jam= squushed up fruit jammed together. Preserves= fruit closer to preserved as fruitish-looking stuff.

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's the 'even chunkier' bit of preserves that threw me off this morning. I did not expect what appeared to be whole cherries in a jar.

For a moment, I had to check to make sure that I hadn't actually bought whole cherries.