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I am an editor, not a burglar. Using the provided gummy label for sealing your manila envelope is fine. Using the brad that no one ever has a use for (since they've previously sealed the envelope using glue) is borderline on my List Of Things That Make Me Hate You To Death, but acceptable, as no one ever knows what to do with it.
However. There is a line. And let me explain where that line is.
That line is right there at "I cannot use a letter opener to open manila enevelopes." See, when I worked as a receptionist and was, therefore, in charge of the office mail every day, I had one of those nifty letter openers that looks about the size of a credit card and has an actual blade in it. I am a master of those. But the letter openers that exist here are the old-fashioned Col. Mustard in the conservatory, stabbing Mr Boddy in the eye kind, and I do not have ranks in those. So I am fumbling about, using my fingers, and, on noteable occasions, my teeth, to open envelopes, and this is where the line is:
Once you have used the provided glue AND the provided brad to seal your envelope, taping-it-fucking-shut makes me want to kill you with my brain.
Unless you are the sort of person who wears asbestos underwear on the offchance that your ass will someday catch fire, sealing an envelope shut three ways is the HEIGHT of ludicrosity, given that it is a PAPER envelope, which catches fire, rips, and generally is easily mauled, particularly by the postal service in this country.
Of course, the real winners are the people (yes, plural) who seal EACH AND EVERY CHAPTER OF A 25-CHAPTER SUBMISSION this way, and then put the WHOLE THING into a BOX. A BIG box.
Bear in mind that we really want three chapters or thirty pages and if we want more we'll let you know. Someone sending us a box of 25 manila envelopes is Not Following Guidelines, and we will NOT read that submission. We might be lax about guidelines, but we are not INSANE.
ETA: You know, it really does only take me about one second to figure out that your land is called Esor because you spelled "rose" backwards. Stop that. THINK about it if you want fancy-ass made-up names.
Also, no one (except the Germans) likes umlauts or diaeresis or whatever the hell you want to call two dots. STOP.
However. There is a line. And let me explain where that line is.
That line is right there at "I cannot use a letter opener to open manila enevelopes." See, when I worked as a receptionist and was, therefore, in charge of the office mail every day, I had one of those nifty letter openers that looks about the size of a credit card and has an actual blade in it. I am a master of those. But the letter openers that exist here are the old-fashioned Col. Mustard in the conservatory, stabbing Mr Boddy in the eye kind, and I do not have ranks in those. So I am fumbling about, using my fingers, and, on noteable occasions, my teeth, to open envelopes, and this is where the line is:
Once you have used the provided glue AND the provided brad to seal your envelope, taping-it-fucking-shut makes me want to kill you with my brain.
Unless you are the sort of person who wears asbestos underwear on the offchance that your ass will someday catch fire, sealing an envelope shut three ways is the HEIGHT of ludicrosity, given that it is a PAPER envelope, which catches fire, rips, and generally is easily mauled, particularly by the postal service in this country.
Of course, the real winners are the people (yes, plural) who seal EACH AND EVERY CHAPTER OF A 25-CHAPTER SUBMISSION this way, and then put the WHOLE THING into a BOX. A BIG box.
Bear in mind that we really want three chapters or thirty pages and if we want more we'll let you know. Someone sending us a box of 25 manila envelopes is Not Following Guidelines, and we will NOT read that submission. We might be lax about guidelines, but we are not INSANE.
ETA: You know, it really does only take me about one second to figure out that your land is called Esor because you spelled "rose" backwards. Stop that. THINK about it if you want fancy-ass made-up names.
Also, no one (except the Germans) likes umlauts or diaeresis or whatever the hell you want to call two dots. STOP.
