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I...am seriously going to kill something.
Okay, look. This is what I want, in bullet format! I want:
- A planner, in black, size 3-3/4" x 6-whateverthefuck"
To go with that planner, I want:
- A dated, two-page-per-month calendar
- A dated, two-page-per-week calendar
- An address book refill
- A ruler
- A things-to-do page refill
I want all of those things to be:
- Six-ring, loose leaf
- Matching, or at least complementary, styles
- NOT FUCKING ANNOYING AS ALL UNGODLY HELL TO LOOK AT.
Seriously. Is it REALLY not possible to buy a planner, with said components, in the size I have ALREADY FUCKING PURCHASED, that is not a) a fifties design; b) PINK; c) the goddamn annoying cat-hurl-appearing "regular" format but instead POSSIBLY gives me a HOPE IN MOTHERFUCKING HELL of appearing to be the TINIEST bit professional? Is it REALLY not possible to get ALL OF THOSE COMPONENTS in a way that MATCHES? Is this REALLY the end of the planner? Did someone NOT SEND OUT THE FUCKING MEMO THAT AS OF END-OF-YEAR 2007 NO ONE WOULD MAKE THIS SHIT EVER AGAIN?
I am so very, very seriously about to return the fucking planner TO THE COMPANY THAT MADE IT because it is not the STORE'S fault I am pissed off, no, it is the MANUFACTURER'S. Am I on Candid-fucking-Camera here? Is it REALLY not possible to get all of those things in ONE FUCKING PLACE AT ONE FUCKING TIME?
An aside: Dear Office Depot, Office Max, and Day Runner: I SHOULD NOT BE FINDING OUT AT THE SHOPPING CART THAT AN ITEM YOU STILL HAVE LISTED ON YOUR WEB PAGE WITH NO STATUS INDICATION AT ALL IS OUT-OF-MONKEYFUCKING-STOCK. I really, really, really, really, REALLY should not. Dear Staples: The ENTIRE POINT of a website is "useability". YOUR WEBSITE FUCKING FAILS.
I really DO NOT consider brightly coloured flowers acceptable for a professional planner. I do not consider Day Runner's Christingly awful default colour scheme that makes me want to run barbed wire over my EYEBALLS to be acceptable for ANYONE'S planner (I realise this is why they make it). I do not, REALLY REALLY DO NOT, consider it "okay", on ANY FUCKING PLANET WHATSOEVER to make a "pro" edition of planner refills that does not come in the size I have purchased which already has the "pro" edition in it but that happens to be undated so that everyone will scream and buy the new, APPARENTLY COMPLETELY UNAVAILABLE, dated refills. SERIOUSLY. If you can MAKE IT AND SELL IT TO ME IN A PLANNER, you can MAKE IT AND SELL IT TO ME IN A COCKBITING REFILL. You really, really, really can.
I realise that half the world is going electronic. I DO NOT WANT TO. This is not me being a Luddite, this is me considering, and addressing, my-fucking-needs, and my needs are: PAPER, YOU INBRED CRETINOUS GNOMES. PAPER PAPER PAPER. WITHOUT PAPER, I HAVE ONLY DEATH.
I hate this so fucking hard.
I am going to eat someone's spleen.
Okay, look. This is what I want, in bullet format! I want:
- A planner, in black, size 3-3/4" x 6-whateverthefuck"
To go with that planner, I want:
- A dated, two-page-per-month calendar
- A dated, two-page-per-week calendar
- An address book refill
- A ruler
- A things-to-do page refill
I want all of those things to be:
- Six-ring, loose leaf
- Matching, or at least complementary, styles
- NOT FUCKING ANNOYING AS ALL UNGODLY HELL TO LOOK AT.
Seriously. Is it REALLY not possible to buy a planner, with said components, in the size I have ALREADY FUCKING PURCHASED, that is not a) a fifties design; b) PINK; c) the goddamn annoying cat-hurl-appearing "regular" format but instead POSSIBLY gives me a HOPE IN MOTHERFUCKING HELL of appearing to be the TINIEST bit professional? Is it REALLY not possible to get ALL OF THOSE COMPONENTS in a way that MATCHES? Is this REALLY the end of the planner? Did someone NOT SEND OUT THE FUCKING MEMO THAT AS OF END-OF-YEAR 2007 NO ONE WOULD MAKE THIS SHIT EVER AGAIN?
I am so very, very seriously about to return the fucking planner TO THE COMPANY THAT MADE IT because it is not the STORE'S fault I am pissed off, no, it is the MANUFACTURER'S. Am I on Candid-fucking-Camera here? Is it REALLY not possible to get all of those things in ONE FUCKING PLACE AT ONE FUCKING TIME?
An aside: Dear Office Depot, Office Max, and Day Runner: I SHOULD NOT BE FINDING OUT AT THE SHOPPING CART THAT AN ITEM YOU STILL HAVE LISTED ON YOUR WEB PAGE WITH NO STATUS INDICATION AT ALL IS OUT-OF-MONKEYFUCKING-STOCK. I really, really, really, really, REALLY should not. Dear Staples: The ENTIRE POINT of a website is "useability". YOUR WEBSITE FUCKING FAILS.
I really DO NOT consider brightly coloured flowers acceptable for a professional planner. I do not consider Day Runner's Christingly awful default colour scheme that makes me want to run barbed wire over my EYEBALLS to be acceptable for ANYONE'S planner (I realise this is why they make it). I do not, REALLY REALLY DO NOT, consider it "okay", on ANY FUCKING PLANET WHATSOEVER to make a "pro" edition of planner refills that does not come in the size I have purchased which already has the "pro" edition in it but that happens to be undated so that everyone will scream and buy the new, APPARENTLY COMPLETELY UNAVAILABLE, dated refills. SERIOUSLY. If you can MAKE IT AND SELL IT TO ME IN A PLANNER, you can MAKE IT AND SELL IT TO ME IN A COCKBITING REFILL. You really, really, really can.
I realise that half the world is going electronic. I DO NOT WANT TO. This is not me being a Luddite, this is me considering, and addressing, my-fucking-needs, and my needs are: PAPER, YOU INBRED CRETINOUS GNOMES. PAPER PAPER PAPER. WITHOUT PAPER, I HAVE ONLY DEATH.
I hate this so fucking hard.
I am going to eat someone's spleen.
