channonyarrow

Yay, you're all fucking voting. Well, I'm voting too, in a little bit, as soon as I get DRESSED, but I have more pressing issues to discuss, like that I think I just had the SINGLE. WORST. dream of my life. And now I am somewhere between "annoyed" and "pissed off."

Usually if I have a bothersome dream, I'm good at saying "Oh, this means that, and that means the other thing, and that's all TOTALLY OBVIOUS, wow, my subconscious is kind of awesome!" But now I am left going "Bitch did NOT just go there," I have no idea what it all means, and I don't even CARE what it all means, because I am ANGRY.

When you are not married, your ex is NOT ALLOWED anything in the divorce settlement, LEAST OF ALL something you didn't even like until years after you knew them! And even LESS of all when it involves nationwide attention.

It seems reasonable to say that I am now mad, and mad I will stay for the rest of the day. It should be FUN to make some of the decisions I have to make today.

I...am seriously going to kill something.

Okay, look. This is what I want, in bullet format! I want:
- A planner, in black, size 3-3/4" x 6-whateverthefuck"

To go with that planner, I want:
- A dated, two-page-per-month calendar
- A dated, two-page-per-week calendar
- An address book refill
- A ruler
- A things-to-do page refill

I want all of those things to be:
- Six-ring, loose leaf
- Matching, or at least complementary, styles
- NOT FUCKING ANNOYING AS ALL UNGODLY HELL TO LOOK AT.

Seriously. Is it REALLY not possible to buy a planner, with said components, in the size I have ALREADY FUCKING PURCHASED, that is not a) a fifties design; b) PINK; c) the goddamn annoying cat-hurl-appearing "regular" format but instead POSSIBLY gives me a HOPE IN MOTHERFUCKING HELL of appearing to be the TINIEST bit professional? Is it REALLY not possible to get ALL OF THOSE COMPONENTS in a way that MATCHES? Is this REALLY the end of the planner? Did someone NOT SEND OUT THE FUCKING MEMO THAT AS OF END-OF-YEAR 2007 NO ONE WOULD MAKE THIS SHIT EVER AGAIN?

I am so very, very seriously about to return the fucking planner TO THE COMPANY THAT MADE IT because it is not the STORE'S fault I am pissed off, no, it is the MANUFACTURER'S. Am I on Candid-fucking-Camera here? Is it REALLY not possible to get all of those things in ONE FUCKING PLACE AT ONE FUCKING TIME?

An aside: Dear Office Depot, Office Max, and Day Runner: I SHOULD NOT BE FINDING OUT AT THE SHOPPING CART THAT AN ITEM YOU STILL HAVE LISTED ON YOUR WEB PAGE WITH NO STATUS INDICATION AT ALL IS OUT-OF-MONKEYFUCKING-STOCK. I really, really, really, really, REALLY should not. Dear Staples: The ENTIRE POINT of a website is "useability". YOUR WEBSITE FUCKING FAILS.

I really DO NOT consider brightly coloured flowers acceptable for a professional planner. I do not consider Day Runner's Christingly awful default colour scheme that makes me want to run barbed wire over my EYEBALLS to be acceptable for ANYONE'S planner (I realise this is why they make it). I do not, REALLY REALLY DO NOT, consider it "okay", on ANY FUCKING PLANET WHATSOEVER to make a "pro" edition of planner refills that does not come in the size I have purchased which already has the "pro" edition in it but that happens to be undated so that everyone will scream and buy the new, APPARENTLY COMPLETELY UNAVAILABLE, dated refills. SERIOUSLY. If you can MAKE IT AND SELL IT TO ME IN A PLANNER, you can MAKE IT AND SELL IT TO ME IN A COCKBITING REFILL. You really, really, really can.

I realise that half the world is going electronic. I DO NOT WANT TO. This is not me being a Luddite, this is me considering, and addressing, my-fucking-needs, and my needs are: PAPER, YOU INBRED CRETINOUS GNOMES. PAPER PAPER PAPER. WITHOUT PAPER, I HAVE ONLY DEATH.

I hate this so fucking hard.

I am going to eat someone's spleen.

Hulk may or may not smash, but Hulk is certainly more than moderately annoyed.

Clearly I need to own fewer things. I am not capable of doing anything other than losing them all.

Currently, I've left my spiky collar on the bus (which means either attempt to recover it from Metro, or buy a new one, which will be fun as it entails a trip to Capitol Hill, not the easiest of destinations when you're on bus) and totally lost the spreadsheet that we've been working on since OCTOBER! It's got 900+ entries! The version I'm working from is scarily outdated and I'm not sure what's happening, but that's okay because the project is in process of cancellation and then I've lost my job anyway.

And as a result of yesterday's hysteria (see: I No Longer Give A Fuck About My Family) I am a) short on hours, and b) unable to go out for either coffee or drinks with two people who both wanted to see me tonight because my brother's leaving thing was supposed to be YESTERDAY, but no, we were faffing around in Longview for my evil dying grandfather, and if I had anything to say about it, someone would put a pillow over the man's face and press.

Or maybe inject an airbubble into his system.

I begin to suspect that my EQ quiz results (I got a walloping 18, where average is 45) may be accurate. I score LOWER than high-functioning autists and people with Asperger's syndrome.

This may be why I don't care.

Oh, and a final amusing note (no, this post is entirely composed of references to things that I've never written about, why?) my sister and Illegal Alien Boyfriend (He loves her. Really.) are apparently discussing getting married. And she thinks that I'll perform the ceremony.

I think she's getting taken for a ride and want no part in the travesty that will be this "marriage".

I'm moving to Mongolia and leaving no forwarding address. Or maybe I'll just go to sleep for a week. I'm fucking exhausted.