Finely honed various espionage-related skills, such as mastering access to least-conspicuous exits in order to go home and eat lunch ten minutes after arriving at work without leaving any evidence that I left the building at all, and wandering off to the bathroom in order to take advantage of the secret room behind the ladies' room where naps could be taken.
Successfully kept professional relationship with the man I was fucking even when he had a German bitch move in with him the day after we had the best sex we'd ever had...without telling me.
Exercised professional discretion in only revealing a coworker's porno-stashing habits when I was quitting and bitter.
Reduced a woman from the Tucson Unified School District to tears with razor-sharp intelligence and stern adherence to facts.
Successfully won the respect of the mailroom manager, something not previously accomplished by anyone associated with the administration through being the only fucking person willing to work all night with her, and establishing proletariat communion by eating pizza together at three a.m.
Successfully projected absurd image of self as a "nice girl" to the point that my supervisor expressed the wish that I could be his second daughter.
Utilised creative problem-solving skills after jamming the shredder involving setting the paper on fire, then dousing it with water and trying to poke out the soggy lumps with a letter opener.
Facilitated the acquisition of a brand new shredder for my unit.
Intimidated public relations manager into revealing classified information about new administration's policy in order to find out why my boyfriend had been walked out of the building by security.
Thwarted all plans to have me walked out of the building by security by taking my last week on the job as sick leave.
Left behind so remarkable a legacy that the sight of me visiting the building caused high-level managers to hide.
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Date: 2004-06-13 09:27 pm (UTC)Finely honed various espionage-related skills, such as mastering access to least-conspicuous exits in order to go home and eat lunch ten minutes after arriving at work without leaving any evidence that I left the building at all, and wandering off to the bathroom in order to take advantage of the secret room behind the ladies' room where naps could be taken.
Successfully kept professional relationship with the man I was fucking even when he had a German bitch move in with him the day after we had the best sex we'd ever had...without telling me.
Exercised professional discretion in only revealing a coworker's porno-stashing habits when I was quitting and bitter.
Reduced a woman from the Tucson Unified School District to tears with razor-sharp intelligence and stern adherence to facts.
Successfully won the respect of the mailroom manager, something not previously accomplished by anyone associated with the administration through being the only fucking person willing to work all night with her, and establishing proletariat communion by eating pizza together at three a.m.
Successfully projected absurd image of self as a "nice girl" to the point that my supervisor expressed the wish that I could be his second daughter.
Utilised creative problem-solving skills after jamming the shredder involving setting the paper on fire, then dousing it with water and trying to poke out the soggy lumps with a letter opener.
Facilitated the acquisition of a brand new shredder for my unit.
Intimidated public relations manager into revealing classified information about new administration's policy in order to find out why my boyfriend had been walked out of the building by security.
Thwarted all plans to have me walked out of the building by security by taking my last week on the job as sick leave.
Left behind so remarkable a legacy that the sight of me visiting the building caused high-level managers to hide.