channonyarrow: (never come back // vormav)
( Apr. 22nd, 2008 04:08 pm)
You know what?

You can say anything you want. You can espouse any belief you want, you can argue anything you want, you can be a total nutbar, you can be a Nazi, you can be a furry. You can even be a nutbar Nazi furry. If I disagree with you, I don't really think that I have the right to censor you - because you still get the right to your opinion, and me censoring you isn't going to change your mind. It is, in fact, quite likely to cement it even further into your head.

And yes, I do feel more strongly about censorship than I do about pretty much anything else. I feel a lot more strongly about it, in fact, than I do about politics, knowledge, awareness, or the Open Source Boob Project. I will defend your right to fuck up your life in many interesting and varied ways; I will never, ever support you if you choose to censor others.

That's my line in the sand. Censorship is wrong; there is no justification for it whatsoever.*

There is absolutely no justification for it on LJ unless both parties have agreed that a comment thread was mutually non-beneficial and both chosen to delete it. Choosing to leave the parts of the conversation that make one party look rude and deleting the parts where they were tripping over themselves to apologise is amazingly, breathtakingly rude.


*With, since I'm grammar-nazi-ing elsewhere, the exception of harmful speech, such as shouting fire in a crowded theatre when there is no fire. That's not censorship - that's harming others, which is something to be prevented at number one, on my priority list.



ETA: You know what else? When I was in college, I had a teacher who recounted the times he'd won arguments about his "hippie ways" by pointing out that not only did he fight in Korea, he'd volunteered, and he'd become partially disabled as a result - that that somehow gave him a free pass to criticise America.

This is not a true statement. Anyone has a free pass to criticise America. You and I and everyone else have a responsibility to decide what criteria we want to place on who we care to listen to critique it, but that doesn't mean that someone can't critique. And saying that someone can critique because they have volunteered to be part of the US military during a war but they couldn't if they hadn't is wrong.

That doesn't mean that my teacher didn't volunteer: that meant that my teacher did not walk into arguments saying "Well, this is wrong and this is wrong and that's wrong, and by the way, I fought in Korea, motherfucker," and expected to win. What I really don't like about the OSBP, aside from how it's taken over my flist, how it's only "okay" to feel one way about it (and I dislike [livejournal.com profile] theferrett's retraction of the post and project from that standpoint), and how it's directly led to me being censored which pisses me off, is the fact that I could win some of these arguments if I said "Yeah, yeah, you think I don't know that women can get groped on the street by primitive screwhead assholes, but I've been groped by random strangers (and nearly broke my leg falling over in surprise), I've been whistled at by ill-mannered pigs, and I have been raped," but I can't win them by saying "Look, all I want you to acknowledge is that by phrasing what you have in that language, you're saying that I don't have the right to choose what happens to my body."

What's more fucked up here? The OSBP or the fact that's revealing really, really deeply-entrenched reflexive overcorrection of politically-correct behaviour from intelligent people who should know better than to say that no woman should be touched like that because the person saying that doesn't want to be?

What if I said I did, assuming my total control of the situation, and my right to refuse even if I said I wasn't averse to being asked the question? Does that make me not worth your support and protection and care because I don't see my body the same way you do? Would you refuse my support and protection and care because I don't march in step with you?

Why are you trying to protect me when I don't know that I want to be protected like that? I want people to see the difference between two things:
- Politeness and the Law argue that no one is touched without their consent. No one. I firmly, and wholeheartedly, and even violently, believe and affirm this.
- Choice argues that I get to decide what happens to me, and everyone running around making blanket statements about how no woman should be touched like this has made my choice for me: I now cannot make the decision that I would be intrigued to be asked that question without, evidently, abrogating my right to consider myself a woman.

I cannot possibly be the only person who sees the distinction here.

If you say that "No woman should be touched like that (implying the OSBP) without her consent", that follows politeness, the law, and choice, and is absolutely what will have me cheering you on for. If you say that "No woman should be touched like that (implying the OSBP)," that only follows politeness and the law, and does not acknowledge my right to choose.

Oh the irony of it, that we as good liberals have finally overcorrected the Right To Choose so far that there is no right to choose. When did we become Republicans?

What I believe - and I will defend you for it - is that you, me, all of us, we all have the right to choose, and there is nothing whatsoever about the right to choose, in any circumstance, that says your choice has to follow the law. The law says that, in America, abortion is legal (broadly speaking). I may or may not agree with that law, but I can make a choice that allows my morality to not infringe on your morality. The law says that, in America, homicide is illegal (broadly speaking). I may or may not choose to murder, but I can make a choice without needing it to fit the law (though if I don't, I run the risk of punishment). The law says that the speedlimit is 70 mph near where I live; nothing in the law compels me not to drive over that speed, though I admit, again, that I run risks.

The law says that no one has to put up with being touched in ways they find unwelcome. I can still make a choice that allows the law to stand and does not abrogate your right or my right or anyone else's right to choose differently under specific circumstances.

The point is not that it is women whose breasts are primarily being focused on here, not for me. The point is not that, clearly, men are all asshole pigdogs who just want to touch boobies and not one of them has the sense or socialisation god gave a goat, so the OSBP is just an invitation to rape, and will concomitantly increase the number of rapists in the population. The point is not even that I feel that our culture is overly non-touch-oriented, with bad results, and that destigmatising some things, with consent offered, may improve life for us all.

The point is that there are plenty of people out there willing to take away my right to choose because they don't agree with one side of the choice. I don't agree with "wet" reservations because of harm to residents; do I have the right to use my Caucasian access to power to decree that all reservations will now be "dry"?

No. I think we all can agree that I do not, not even if it is to prevent harm to a group of people I don't represent. You have to make that choice for yourself. I will support your choice to the extent of my ability: I will never, ever let you avoid making it.
Oddly enough, I do actually feel better. Weird. But hey, I said my piece.

Also, I have a giant microbe sitting on my desk, right next to plushie Cthulu, under the macro that says "You want attention? You got it, bitch." All of that makes me happy, too, and especially [livejournal.com profile] nullstr, who no longer reads LJ, but sends really fantastic care packages. I love him more than I can reciprocate because I am crap at sending things to people.

But I will totally fly to LA the next time he's here! I would do the same for many people!

*hearts flist*

And in between finishing typing and putting a tag in, a coworker informed me that he won a party for a hundred people at a dueling piano bar in town. I did not know anyone won those things!

My life, pretty good. *g*
channonyarrow: (think different // kimonthejourney)
( Feb. 5th, 2008 03:07 pm)
You know what? I really hate anonymous shit. I really, really do. I realise this is no surprise (and probably to at least one person who will read this, completely uninteresting since it's me whining about everything I hate, as I always do) but seriously, I really hate it.

Fucking own what you don't like. Admit it and move on. Don't take the path of easy resistance. Not even I do that, and I'm the biggest avoider of confrontation EVER. But my posts in [livejournal.com profile] bad_rpers_suck are under my name, not a sock, and if someone found them, that was a risk.

It is not acceptable, in any world other than the playyard, to continue to make yourself miserable for no good reason. If you cannot get acceptance from people other than by spouting agreeable opinions, and can't keep peace within yourself by accepting that there are things you don't like that other people don't want to know about, then why are you trying to curry favour by not saying them out loud under a name and still being upset enough to need to vent them? I'm all in favour of venting, but not anonymously.

That is not okay. I do not support that, and I'm really fucking annoyed that anyone does. If it is so important that you MUST VENT, jesus, you're making yourself ill.

"To say that you have forgiven but not forgotten is to say that you have not truly forgiven."

And you know what else? Lack of a name and lack of ownership of a perfectly valid sentiment (if that comment was about me, then fine, it's totally acceptable to think that, but fucking say it to my face) makes people who suspect that they might be the person in question but aren't able to be sure - it could very well be someone I've never interacted with; at the same time, it could very well be someone I thought I could trust, insofar as one can trust online - not likely to be very happy.

So thanks, person with no balls. Seriously. I'm pleased you decided to ruin my day by not having a fucking spine. And if I find out who you are, and if you do have a problem with me, not with someone else, I will be sure to point that out - that you're a coward, and that I am not impressed.

Step the fuck up. Take action to make yourself happy. You don't need to read me if you don't like what I have to say; I'd prefer that you didn't, because I'd prefer not to turn around and find knives in my back.

Oh internet, you make me so crazy. Crazy enough to take my toys and go the fuck home.
channonyarrow: (junkie whore)
( Mar. 24th, 2004 10:47 am)
I begin to suspect that I should have another journal that no one knows. There are loads of things I'd love to discuss, even just as theoretical concepts, that have occurred to or around me lately, but I can't. The people involved by and large read LJ, and it's not fair to throw their issues out for discussion by me without their knowledge that it will hit them like a bat when they go to check their flists.

I could say that these are not my stories to tell, but frankly, I don't believe that. I believe that the minute I am involved in the story, it is mine as well, and I can and should discuss what happened and how it made me feel. There's a difference between reporting an event that happened to other people and discussing something that happened to me. It just so happens that I am usually not the one things are happening to, I am the one they happen around.

I feel like I might go out on a limb today and try to discuss one of these stories, since it's something that people have been bringing to me for years now, but the risk is pretty high that I'll lose some valuable friendships if I do that.

Catch-22.

How valuable are these friendships if they are generating situations that I cannot discuss because the people involved would be mad for discussing them here? Are they actually people I want to be involved with? (an interesting typo replaced "people" with "things" there, scarily enough) I wouldn't say something like "Jane called yesterday and she was just hysterical because it turned out that Dean had hijacked an airplane to get to his mail-order bride who was stranded in Kuwait, the love slave of Jim-Bob the Oil Millionaire Extraordinaire."

No, it would be anonymous discussion of my feelings. But my feelings on so many of these things are so rarely positive (hence my desire to, you know, write about them) that I think it would be perceived as bitching and moaning, which it would be, but not maliciously, which I think it would also be seen as.

As it stands, I can't discuss the problems I have always had at relating to people on a sympathetic level - I just don't. I can't discuss my views on suicide, mental illness, or medication. I can't discuss why I have such issues with two of the three. I can't discuss that I'm being manipulated by someone who's really quite crap at it, and it's becoming a turn off, making me not want to do what they want simply because it's all they discuss.

And now that I've pissed off - at a rough guess - five people, perhaps I should quit digging. But I think it defeats the point to make a blog part of a community. I can't express my feelings when I know that the people I'm interacting with are going to read this and going to see it as part of a public forum. And I have no idea who all reads this.

I do not have the security (however stupid it was to believe) that I had using Blogger, because I was not part of any comms. I had no idea who my readership was, beyond Tararaven, Lzz, Hilarityallen, and Codesmith, simply because there was no other way to track than by comments. My thoughts there could occur in a vacuum, to all intents and purposes. I didn't have to censor the way I feel that I do with Livejournal.

It's a quandary. I don't believe at this point that switching back to Blogger is the solution, and that's not what I'm talking about. I want to know what stories are public domain, and how far am I willing to go in pissing people off by reporting my feelings on stories that involve both of us.

Once, when a friend of mine killed himself, I wound up writing a letter to him, that obviously could not be sent. Rather than sending it, I took it to the library and put it in a book that I pulled off a shelf at random. It may not get read for 50 years, it might have been read the next week. I like to think it'll get where it needs to go, just like the letter that I ran across in a book, from a woman to her boyfriend, discussing some of the issues in their relationship, came to me at the right time.

This is not that letter, and the internet is not a book. I have no idea who's out there.
channonyarrow: (junkie whore)
( Mar. 23rd, 2004 08:13 am)
Dear world -

Cass does not wish to do the wide variety of exciting options laid on for today, like emails and job applications, some of the former of which have been put off for three months. Cass would much rather go back to bed and pull the covers up over her head and stay there. Cass would not like to try to figure out what to do with the characters in the game who are relatively inactive. Cass would rather go drinking. Cass would not like to contemplate either the two Airedales in her house or some of the more interesting decisions made by friends, all of whom will assume they know what this refers to. They will be wrong. Cass would instead like a large bag of cash to get a tattoo and leave the country without obligations like visas and the like.

Cass does not want to consider anything about the job offer that she may accept, for it is shite and has only the advantage of being money. Instead, she would like to work on the novel with Darumaseye. Cass would not like to contemplate the fact that she has just stepped off the end of the sidewalk and bought plane tickets to meet crazy horse-sacrificing cultists in Wisconsin, nor that she is considering stepping further off the end and dragging Codesmith either to Palestine or to an altar.

Cass would, in short, like to do things that she wants to do, rather than either things that she should do or that scare the crap out of her. This is hardly surprising and matches the rest of the world's population in desires, but the world should alter itself to accomodate this desire, because dammit, I'm tired of doing what I should rather than what I want.

Especially since I am so piss-poor at doing what I should.

The list is long, the time is short, and here I go.
.

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