Never have I had such an appropriate tag. Never.

[channonyarrow]

Since I didn't make the tag to fit the situation, I mean.

If the moderator of a comm that, I feel, exists solely to shit-stir, stirs shit off that comm with behaviour that manymanylots of people feel is generally wanky and rude and really not acceptable at all, how much shit will be stirred on said moderator's shit-stirring comm?

And the question I have to append because I'm a paranoid motherfucker: how much of that shit will not go through because the mod is the shit-stirrer in question?

And yet, I have to wait till MONDAY to find out. This is NOT ACCEPTABLE. But it promises to be fun!

I am debating starting a fandom_wank watch, actually.

In other news: dear Fran-Drescher-wannabe standing fifty feet away from me and screeching at the top of your fucking lungs: SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I WILL HELP YOU WITH THIS GINORMOUS BOOK.

Comments

[sparkfrost.livejournal.com]

Why my dear, whatever wank could you be referring to? I'm sure I have no idea whatsoever.

(And OMG now that you mention it I can't wait either! Damn Monday for being so far away!)

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you don't either. *g* I really do want to see how this one's going to turn out. If I do find out that there was any failure to put up secrets...in fact, I should send in my OWN. If I find out that she's denying them, I will totally go to fandom_wank.

Not that I have a grudge against that comm or anything. But hey, at least the secrets aren't necessarily anonymised by her, so now I know that the person I thought secreted me didn't in the end.

[sparkfrost.livejournal.com]

You were secreted?? I didnt even catch it! Wow.

I'm grateful that I'm so small in bandom cause otherwise I'd be freakin paranoid about that comm.

And yeah, I really want to see what Monday brings.

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

If you go to post five, the picture with the baby's face was something I thought was said about me - it was in the right time frame to be someone who might be frustrated in dealing with me and really, the shoe fits (I made an effort to be happier in my journal after that), but it was hosted on stele3's site, and the person I thought did it isn't even friended to her (which doesn't mean anything, since stele3 uses IJ, but it's a reasonable first step since the person in question namedrops a lot of other people and never her, so...I wouldn't host an image on my website for someone I wasn't super close to, especially if I knew it wasn't going to be anonymised).

Then I decided that everyone could cram it and I wasn't going to care, it was my journal, and if someone doesn't like it, why would they read it?

But it's shit like that that TOTALLY keeps me from commenting (that and my inexorable ability to make a complete ass of myself). I want to remain small time here. I don't write (not that I likely would anyway) and I don't plan for that to change. I can see wanting to write (and I want to read what you write, for definite) but the moment the anonymous comes on the bitch comes out in this fandom. I pretty much think that bandom (and HP before that, but at least that had a reasonable leaven of guys; there's ONE person in bandom that I would peg as possibly male and even THEN) is really anti-woman, and when we can't go attack the girlfriends/wives/random hookups of the bands, we'll pull the knives on each other. I can't get over how many bandomsecrets contain some version of "you wouldn't like me if I told you what I REALLY think" because, of course, shipping someone other than your friend's OTP is totally punishable by death. And then there's the nastiness to anyone who's at all BNF - so fucking what, if you don't like it, really, no one is making you read it, I promise.

All of which is my way of nattering on about how I want to do a post about how negative and anti-woman fandom can be, particularly this one, but a) who'll read it - not many people who it would apply to - and b) like it hasn't been said before, so c) do I want to break cover for it?

Jury is still out on that one.

[sparkfrost.livejournal.com]

I checked out that secret- I remember seeing it the first time and having no clue who it was. I figure that alot of people bitch in their LJ, its their perogative, how the hell should I know who its aimed at? If it was aimed at you- fuck 'em! I like you because of your rants! Among other things. But capslock of rage is always an interesting read and I like that you clearly, articulately, and ragefully express your anger.

As for bandom- I'd like to write more, and probably will once tax season is over. But I don't foresee posting to any comms. I'm happy with my flist, if they want to rec it like they do my concert reviews, bomb! But I don't want to be big. It freaked me out when someone I'd never heard of told me she recognized my tag.

As for misogyny- oh WOW do I agree with you. Again I'm grateful for my Flist cause I don't have a lot of woman-haters on it. The girls in their fics tend to be portrayed well and aren't the fallback villains or what have you. That being said, the general hatred toward the girlfriends/wives really upsets me. Not only does it show a frightening lack of respect for other women, but it also unveils a lot of these women's slack grasp on reality. I mean, what good does it do to hate the gfs? Even if Ryan Ross breaks up with Keltie its not like he's going to randomly pick some fangirl out of the crowd. Etc etc. But the rabid hatred continues on.

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

It's so sick to me how much we (and I'm using that term loosely, but I think the generalisation is reasonably accurate) lie to ourselves. I mean, I'm really not reading Frank/Gerard for some kind of analysis of culture, or for the sociological implications of gay sex or for the phenomena of women who like queer text or any other arty thing I could make up about it. I'm not reading it even as porn, really, I'm reading it as a story, because I, in my heart of hearts, really really really wanna fuck both those guys a whole lot. I'm reading it because I give a shit about them, in ways that are completely inappropriate to express for a lot of reasons; for one thing, if I could get either of them in bed, it probably wouldn't be because I was saying "Oh man, I've wanted to do this for ages." It's the female equivalent of "Damn, girl, shake those titties!" It's not a come-on, at all. But I'm not reading the fics because I'm not gratified by them on some level, let's be real. And I think that pretty much a lot of the reason that fans care about the object of their affection is sexualised. If it wasn't, why would fans be so involved in writing people have sex? I'm not trying to get all neofeminist on fandom and bandom, but I am saying that I kind of think that the point of porn, all porn, is that it COULD happen to you that way, whether you want to be a guy watching two chicks get it on, or whether you want to fuck your favourite singer, or whatever it is. Porn doesn't work when you put in someone who doesn't have what we want.

And I think that's some of the total vicious rage against the women in the fandom and peripherally involved in the guys' lives - every other woman, as in every other aspect of life, is competition for the attentions of some semi-mythical male. Smacking the Frank and Gerard action figures together removes women (and therefore competition) from the equation, but it doesn't CHANGE the equation. It's still 1+1=♥.

I know that's making it super, super basic, and probably offensive, and definitely containing an error at some point, but I do think that's a big part of it. Women don't easily band together, in my experience; our relationships rely on personal interaction, and whatever we might like, we are so socialised to see men as the source of all good things. I can't quite figure seeing other members of the same fandom as such competition, but I think that it is seen that way, in a couple of forms, and it's really, really frustrating. I mean, let's take the worst-case example: what if it turns out that Urie did everything that poster accused him of? What happens then? So many people gave him a pass that it wasn't even funny, but if it had been their best friend, no question. In this case, they didn't know her, and they wanted him in some way - I'm not saying that bandom's running around with its panties wet over Urie, but you don't consume what you don't want (at least if you're sane; some of the bandomsecrets posts have made me forcibly reconsider THAT notion) so therefore, the logic works, however limpingly.

Obviously I have a lot to say here, as you do as well. *g* Thank you for your support, though - one person you know (and know the name of) saying something like that makes up for a lot of people who haven't got the balls to say it to my face.

[koemiko.livejournal.com]

Women don't easily band together, in my experience; our relationships rely on personal interaction, and whatever we might like, we are so socialised to see men as the source of all good things. I can't quite figure seeing other members of the same fandom as such competition, but I think that it is seen that way, in a couple of forms, and it's really, really frustrating.

A++

Also? Given I don't know anyone you rant about, I generally fall over laughing at your posts. (Like the recent, "I shudder when I think of old age, I can never remember how long to boil an egg" and "Oh my god take out the loan, Clarence!")

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

I am a slut for the LOLZ, for serious. I WANT everyone to laugh at my humour when I rant, because if that's not what's happening, I'm doing it wrong.

And - I think that what I've said, the more I think about it, is distressingly accurate. I feel like it's hard to connect with women qua women, but the people I know, I really do care about, and I think that's a larger problem than we'd like to admit. But bandom really seems to go overboard with the "we're all really good friends and totally woman-positive and up with feminism and yadda yadda yadda...bitch, I'm gonna cut you."

Or it might just be that I would throw my mother under a bus for the chance to fuck Gerard. An actual bus.

[koemiko.livejournal.com]

"we're all really good friends and totally woman-positive and up with feminism and yadda yadda yadda...bitch, I'm gonna cut you."

That seems like a great deal of women in general, right there. "What's so special about her?"

You kind of remind me of a Lily Tomlin sketch where the female construction workers start whistling at the guys who walk by. *g*