Open letter to my characters

[channonyarrow]

Dear Harry, Snape, Terry, Ollivander, Ajeya and Goyle:

You guys are really starting to piss me off. For specific reasons.

Harry: QUIT KILLING PEOPLE. It's WRONG! You don't LIKE it! And if you do, QUIT ADMITTING IT! You'll get killed, you idiot! Bad Dark Lord in waiting! Bad!

Snape: Look, Millicent trusts you. Great. That doesn't mean you should bend over backwards for her! Marry Pansy? Why, god, why? Bad spy! Bad!

Terry: Keep your cock in your pants! Just because Luna said you could shag other people DOES NOT MEAN you may shag Firenze! He's Snape's boyfriend! Do you have a death wish? Why couldn't you get it out of your system when you were in Dublin?!? Or a vampire!?! Bad junkie whore! Bad!

Ollivander: You ARE NOT Dumbledore reborn. I KILLED HIM FOR A REASON, HOR. Quit fucking twinkling! And you're evil! So shut up! Bad evil mastermind! Bad!

Ajeya: No more guilt. You didn't kill Crabbe. Just...go shag Charlie or something. Bad guilty Auror! Bad!

Goyle: Hurry up and die! Please! Blow up Diagon! Please! Bad minion! Bad!

No love,
Cass

Comments

[srichard.livejournal.com]

Well, I'll agree with the advice to Harry, certainly. As for marrying Pansy...well, it's hardly the worst thing you've had to do in your life. And Terry? *blows*

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

No, the worst thing would be *censored*

Terry: *experiences stiff...breeze*

[tararaven.livejournal.com]

Oi, I am marrying Pansy!

And Harry can go shag *censored*

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Your delusions are touching. Snape is marrying Pansy and that's final!

Never mind that he's gay and in a relationship with a centaur...I will see you defeated!

[tararaven.livejournal.com]

NO. You are so NOt marrying her. Marry Firenze, the dumb centaur.

[orionnoire.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing*

*revives*

I notice you got pass killing Dumbledore, great! Olivander twinkling? *giggles* I always suspected Harry would enjoy killing. Mwahahaha!

I can't wait to see that fic. *bats eyelashes*

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

This is actually from my LJ game. And Gwen and I, evil co mods, were wondering if you might want to join? I was supposed to ask next time I saw you, we decided, but I'm busier than a one legged man in an ass-kicking contest. So if you do, let me know.

Check it out at <a href="http://www.kellystreet.tk>Kelly Street</a>. Sadly, the fic is totally on hold. But I'm writing a book!

[orionnoire.livejournal.com]

Wow. You thought of asking me?! *blushes* (I'm such a whore *sigh*)

What characters are left? I only saw a list of those taken and can't really think of any other I'd be any good at. I'm not saying yes, yet, I want to read more of the cw lj first. (will give you an answer very soon).

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Er. I'm trying to think what's taken. Basically, there's a lot left in the Lexicon, but the majors are probably all taken. Although we might be able to work a deal with someone wanting to retire a char at the end of the war. And I have a suspicion that a couple of the well knowns are coming open soon.

I'll plan to be on this weekend (Tomorrow's out due to HP and drinking) and we can shat? Since I've been meaning to catch up and all!

[tararaven.livejournal.com]

Offer her Charlie!!!

Not that I WANT to get rid of him, but he needs to be explored and I have enough to do with Ron and Ros, really!!

Offer ther Charlie and then you two could shag. Well, granted - it doesn't matter which character she's take, Terry would even shag a garden gnome, but still....

[orionnoire.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the link. I'm going to start reading the posts on cw and I'll give you an answer after the "end of high school rush", ok? (I finish school next friday.)

Oh, yay! It's been a while I wanted to talk to you. Have a nice time at HP!

[graeae.livejournal.com]

Join... join... join us....

What characters you interested in? You'd be surprised what you can do with the minor ones. *winks*

[orionnoire.livejournal.com]

I don't really know, I'll have to see what's going on with the characters first, I guess. *hops off to read cw*

Thanks! *winks back*

[jkivela.livejournal.com]

Nice. Need to add Bill to that flickering evil icon...

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Something like that. Bill's an asshole, mate.

But yeah. Since Asa's left and Goyle's about to bite it and I changed the pb for Harry to Nick Stahl, it could be updated.

Go look at the journal what I did all by my widdle self!

[cw-bw.livejournal.com]

See, and why do you need me around to make you backgrounds? Lovely though.

[graeae.livejournal.com]

*coughs* Might be able to do something about that...

[tararaven.livejournal.com]

I like your attitude. Could I take *Cass* as character and play her/him with a Neville/Blaise sort of touch? You'd incorporate a bit of all of your characters, now, wouldn't that be lovely?

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

I'd be seriously intrigued to see how you would play me, I have to admit.

[tararaven.livejournal.com]

*goes off to make journal for new student - Cassidy O'Reilly*

Open letter to Cass' characters, love Pansy (delivered by Gwen)

[cw-pansy.livejournal.com]

Dear Harry, Goyle, Snape, Terry, Ollivander and Ajeya,

I despise you all, with the exception of Ajeya who I don't know. But as she's part of the human race, I hate her on principle.

Harry: Let me give you a hint. When you're killing people, don't start with your own side.

Goyle: "Burning shit down" is not the most effective of attacks, at least not for you. Oh, and by the way, pour the gasoline on the building, not on yourself. I've always found that more effective.

Ollivander: You hired George Weasley to work in a wand shop. Natch.

Terry: Am I the only person you haven't fucked yet? The war's going to end when the population of Hogwarts is felled by venereal disease. Thanks.

Ajeya: You let Blaise follow you around and you haven't gotten shagged yet? Huh. That's tough. I've changed my mind and am now officially impressed by you.

Snape: Four words for you. Mane and Tail Conditioner. Ask Firenze.

Fuck you all,
Pansy

Re: Open letter to Cass' characters, love Pansy (delivered by Gwen)

[graeae.livejournal.com]

*adds before sritchard has a chance to*

Firenze is not a horse! *wicked grin*

Kingsley's Addendum

[mad-spellz.livejournal.com]

Let's see. White. White. White. Should be black. White. Honey.

Re: Kingsley's Addendum

[mad-spellz.livejournal.com]

((refering to Pansy's order, not Cass's))

Re: Kingsley's Addendum

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

*boggles*

Open letter to Pansy, love, the Cass Collective

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Dear Pansy -

We feel we have a few things to say to you as well.

From Harry: I KEEL YOU HOR! Running around with RON? BITCH!

From Goyle: More effective than you, oh Weasley shagger. I'd imply you did Potter too, but I've been assured you didn't.

From Ollivander: My dear, surely you don't believe that the Weasleys are powerful wizards. And how better to bring them to the right side?

From Terry: Probly. Tonight at nine, Shrieking Shack, yeah?

From Ajeya: ...I just don't want to know, do I?

From Snape: One word: betrothal.

Much love,
The Collective

Re: Open letter to Pansy, love, the Cass Collective

[cw-ronweasley.livejournal.com]

Just this - Snape, if you try anything, Ron will kill you.

Re: Open letter to Pansy, love, the Cass Collective

[phoenixforsaken.livejournal.com]

*still the prettiest*

Re: Open letter to Pansy, love, the Cass Collective

[cw-ronweasley.livejournal.com]

*prettiest* ??? Hands over shampoo and moth balls

Re: Open letter to Pansy, love, the Cass Collective

[phoenixforsaken.livejournal.com]

Harry's pretty!

I wasn't thinking like Snape last night.

Re: Open letter to Pansy, love, the Cass Collective

[cw-ronweasley.livejournal.com]

Harry then - hands over comb and moth balls.

[brighteyed-luna.livejournal.com]

THE CENTAUR?!?! OH FOR JHIRUHGIWUGLUIEG SAKE.

[loyaulte-me-lie.livejournal.com]

You didn't say only humans, love. Wicked good, though.

[brighteyed-luna.livejournal.com]

*facepalm* Oh for everything sacred to Merlin on the Knights of the bloody round table.

If the Centaur is what you want...you...go ahead and do the centaur. I'll just...be in a coma over here and shudder at the thought.

[loyaulte-me-lie.livejournal.com]

I'll be over to visit you in your coma and angst about the fact that Firenze and I were screwing around while you were getting blown up shortly.

[brighteyed-luna.livejournal.com]

YEAAAAH!

[slytherat.livejournal.com]

Question: How does one shag a centaur? 0_o

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

http://www.livejournal.com/community/cw_kellystreet/101458.html

http://www.livejournal.com/community/cw_kellystreet/105876.html

There are more, but I'll stop.

As it turns out, with a lot of biting. *g*

[slytherat.livejournal.com]

Now that is disturbing! :P